Lean on Me
by amandaoftheyear
Summary: What if the boys from the original story had another friend...a girl? How would they act around a girl? Story is filled with friendship, humor, love, some hurt/comfort. Little of everything. OC/SBM Movie/The Body
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Thanks to everyone for reading my reading my story! It's my second Fan Fic, but first one for Stand by Me. I LOVE both the film and the novella, The Body, so you'll see bits from both here. However, it mostly identifies with the movie, I think. The characters are more like the film characters. I'm posting four chapters to start with, because it could be a little while before I can post anything more. I hope you all enjoy it! Remember to REVIEW!! Reviews are love! Thanks-Amanda of the Year**

_We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds-Fergie_

Chapter One

It had been nearly a year since the Castle Rock authorities discovered the body of Ray Brower on the back Harlow Road. Nearly a year since my best friends in the whole wide world found the body and fought off Castle Rock's meanest gang, the Cobras (of which my brother is a member). In the woods near Harlow, Gordie LaChance had fended off the Cobra leader, Ace Merrill with a .45 his best friend Chris Chambers had hawked from his dad.

Since that day, the Cobras had sworn they'd get back at the boys. They even swore, despite the fact that I wasn't even there, that they'd get back at me. Even my brother, Charlie, swore. Family doesn't really mean a lot to the Cobras (Chris and Vern's brothers are also members).

I would have been with the boys that day. I'm not a girly girl that is afraid of the woods. I'd have gladly taken the long trip to Harlow with the boys, but my father was killed in an accident at the lumber mill a week prior to the trip. His funeral was held only two days prior. While my brother was gallivanting half way across the state with his gang, my mother and I were still grieving our loss. I told you…family means nothing to the Cobras.

My name is Abigail Hogan, but no one calls me "Abigail" because I hate it. I'd sock the first one who tried it. Even my dumb brother knows better. Almost everyone just calls me Abby. Chris Chambers, the leader of our little pack, calls me Abs though. And I let him, because he's cool and he saved my life once (we'll get to that later).

The most annoying nickname I have (with the exception of Schnookums Wookums, which Granny calls me) was bestowed upon me by the craziest boy I've ever met, Teddy Duchamp. For some reason, Teddy insists on calling me, Gaily. I told you, He's crazy. I'd beat him up for it, but I feel sorry for him. His dad's crazy. Seriously, He's locked up in Togus. He tried to kill Teddy once. Poor kid.

I've been friends with Gordie, Chris, Teddy, and Vern since I could walk. I think my mom has always been a little disappointed, having a daughter that acts more like a son. I dress like a boy and hang out with four boys all the time. But, hey, at least I don't go around boosting cars like my brother and the idiots he calls, "friends."

And, so what if I'd rather take wood shop than dumb old sewing? Who wouldn't want a bird house instead of a stupid skirt? I turned thirteen on May 15th, just a few weeks before seventh grade was over. My mom hoped that I'd grow out of that "phase" when I became a teenager. I wouldn't really call something I'd done my whole life a "phase." I think the old lady just likes to use that term, because, in her mind, that means it could stop. I never told her I didn't plan on changing. What's the harm in letting the old lady have some hope?

With summer fast approaching, I was itching to turn thirteen. Vern and I were the babies of the group and I was glad to leave him behind as the only twelve-year-old. And, the boys were itching to outdo last summer's fiasco. Since I missed out on the Ray Brower trip, they wanted to give me a summer I would never forget.

The boys succeeded. I will never forget the summer before eighth grade, or the last few weeks of seventh grade.

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed the introduction to my story! It's only going to get better from here, pinky swear! As you might have noticed, there are no chapter titles. I'm lousy with thinking them up, but I love music, so in lieu of titles, a lyric will be used…just something I think identifies with the chapter at hand! Thanks again. And remember, Reviews are Love!!**


	2. Chapter 2

_What breathes down your neck is lion's breath-Aleka's Attic_

Chapter Two

The day of my birthday, I walked to school early, _way_ early. I usually walked with Chris, who happened to be my neighbor in addition to being my best friend. We would meet up with the rest of the guys under the huge oak tree in front of the school building.

On the day of my thirteenth birthday, however, I feared embarrassing birthday songs, hugs, balloons, gifts, confetti, and anything else the gang could think up. They were a creative bunch when they wanted to be. And, my thirteen birthday, was a time when surely they would want to be.

So, I woke up at the crack of dawn, threw on my usual outfit (an old t-shirt that might have actually belonged to Gordie, jeans with holes in the knees, and black Converse high tops), and jogged out the door. I was half way to school ten minutes before Chris would even step out onto his front porch.

As I knew it would be, the tree was lonely standing in the school yard as Vern, Teddy, and Gordie, though they lived closer, were still eating breakfast or taking showers.

My locker was unfortunately mashed between two girls from up on the View, Marsha Logan and Penny Valance. They always arrived early and were huddled around our lockers with two other morons when I started down the hallway. They were giggling and completely blocking the view of my locker.

"Move it or lose it!" I shouted.

Marsha was a short skinny girl with perfectly curled blond hair, straight ultra-white teeth, and pouty pink lips. You could easily guess that she was popular with the boys. She turned back to me first, still giggling like she had just heard the funniest joke ever told. I swear all the view girls know how to do with blow bubbles with their gum and giggle.

"I don't know what you find so funny and I'm sure I don't care two bits, so just get out of my way," I said. I was growing tired of the scene. This happened every time I arrived early. Thankfully, that was not too often.

"Your little boyfriends left you a present," Marsha said, cackling like a witch might.

Penny Valance was a tall, thin brunette with a pug nose and brown eyes. She turned to me and snickered. "I wouldn't want even _one_ of those hoods as a boyfriend, let alone all four."

"They're _not _hoods and they're _not _my boyfriends!" I barked, threatening her with my balled up fist.

She stared at my fist, eyes wide, mouth hanging open. She skittered away before I could sock her. All the girls (and some of the boys) from the View were afraid of me. They knew I could take them if I wanted to. Penny didn't realize that I didn't really want to this time. Who wants to get expelled from school two weeks before it lets out for summer vacation?

Penny's three clones followed quickly after her, whispering about the guys and me as they went. I watched them for a few seconds and then turned back to my locker.

My eyes bugged out like Penny's when I saw the "present" taped to my locker with a note. A lacy white bra hung above a piece of lined paper with "You're 13 now…thought you might want this" scribbled on it.

My face immediately turned the color of ripe tomatoes. This had Teddy or even Vern written all over it. I threw it in the nearest trash bin and marched outside. The boys would be arriving soon and my fist was itching to see them.

When I busted through the front double doors, I spied the guys milling around the tree, save Chris who was walking up the road.

"Nice present!" I growled when I was only a few feet from them.

To my surprise, Gordie turned to me, smiled his sweet smile, and said, "You liked it? Chris and I snuck in last night to do it!"

I narrowed my eyes and gritted my teeth. Teddy and Vern were stupid and immature. I could take this kind of thing from them. But Gordie and Chris?

Before I knew what came over me, I had Gordie on the ground. I straddled him and waved my fist in his face.

"How could you, Gordie?" I demanded. "How could you and Chris do something so mean and stupid?" I held Gordie's shoulder down with my left hand and pulled back my right fist, ready to strike. Gordie looked like a deer in the headlights.

"Abs!" I heard Chris' voice behind me only seconds before I felt his strong arms wrap around my waist and lift me away from Gordie. "What the hell are you doing?" Chris shouted as he dragged me back a few feet.

"What the hell were you two doing leaving that shit on my locker?" I shouted, wiggling away and turning my angry eyes toward him.

"Abs, I know it was rough, but we thought you'd like it," Chris said, turning sad eyes to the ground.

"You thought I'd _like_ that?" I demanded, shoving him. "How could I like that? All those douche bags from the View saw it!"

"Since when do you care about the douche bags from the View?" Teddy asked.

"Shut up, Teddy!" I snapped. "Since when are you and Gordie, the immature, brainless ones in the group?" I asked Chris.

"Wait, who's usually the immature, brainless ones?" Teddy asked.

"Shut up, Teddy!" Chris and I snapped in unison.

"What's going on?" Gordie asked. He had finally crawled off the ground. What took him so long, I don't know. I didn't think I hurt him. "We spent weeks on that gift, Abby. It wasn't brainless or immature!"

I looked at Gordie as if he'd just sprouted wings and took flight. "Tell me what isn't brainless about taping a bra to my locker?"

When everyone's faces adopted the same baffled look, I started to look around for my own set of wings.

"Chris and Gordo made you a box for all your paint crap, Gaily, not a bra. I know you don't have jugs or anything, but you're technically a girl, so you should know the difference," Teddy said, laughing like an insane hyena.

"Shut up Teddy!" I said again. I think I spent most of my adolescent life telling Teddy Duchamp to shut up.

"What do you mean box?" I asked. "All I saw was a bra taped to the front of my locker with a note that said, 'you might need this since your thirteen' or something like that."

"How could you think that was one of us?" Chris asked. His soulful eyes were filled with hurt.

"Yeah, really," Teddy said. "We see you every day. We know you don't have jugs. No jugs means—" Teddy cut off when Chris threatened him with his fist.

"You swear it wasn't you guys?" I asked.

They all swore.

"On your mother's good name?" I pressed the issue.

They nodded and muttered, "Yeah."

"Pinky swear?" I had to know for sure.

All four boys pinky swore they weren't the culprits of this prank.

"Then who?" I asked.

"I think I know," Vern said, pointing a stubby, trembling finger behind me.

I spun around to see Eyeball Chambers (Chris' brother), Billy Tessio (Vern's brother), and my brother, Charlie sauntering toward us, grins on their faces. If they hadn't been such jerks, a lot of girls might have thought Billy or Eyeball were cute. Maybe even me if I thought boys were cute. I still wasn't at that stage in my life yet.

As soon as the Cobras were in earshot, Teddy hurled an insult. "Hey Billy! I heard you lost your bra! Don't worry, Gaily took it to lost and found with your name on it!"

"Nah, I thought it was more Eyeball's style!" I shouted. Teddy laughed insanely again. Then we all started laughing and forgot that our mortal enemies still loomed before us.

Eyeball jogged my memory by grabbing my side and pulling me to him. "You're right, Baby. It is my style," he hissed in my ear. His breath was hot and sour. "Why don't you model it for me?"

"You're sick, Eyeball! Let me go!" I shouted, trying to wiggle away.

"Yeah, Eyeball, man, let her go," Gordie pleaded.

"Shut up, LaChance!" My brother shouted. You would think an older brother would try to help his younger sister. Not Charlie Hogan.

I could feel Eyeball's hand creeping up my side. They guys didn't know it, but I had started getting "jugs," as Teddy called them. I taped them down to maintain my flat-chested tomboy look.

"Get off me!" I cried, elbowing him in the stomach as hard as I could.

"You bitch!" He groaned, releasing his hold on me and doubling over in pain.

I ran to the group of boys as fast as my shaking legs could carry me. I prided myself on being fearless, but the Cobras put the fear in me! Teddy caught me and pushed me behind him. He might have been crazy, but he could be really sweet too.

"Get out of here, Eyeball!" Teddy threatened. "There's four of us and…" I punched Teddy in the back and raised a fist in the air. I was ready to fight now. My legs were standing strong. Teddy started again. "There's _five_ of us and three of you. Those ain't the best odds! You better get lost!"

"This ain't over, Bitch!" Eyeball said, pointing a finger at me.

"Get a new line, Eyeball," Teddy said as the Cobras turned to walk away.

Eyeball whirled around, startling me so that I jumped back. He threatened, "You better watch your backs! Especially you, Duchamp, and your little bitch."

As I watched the three of them slink away, I felt deep down that trouble was coming.


	3. Chapter 3

_When you're there alone, know that I'm wide awake tonight-Letterkills_

Chapter Three

My birthday went without much fanfare. The box that Chris and Gordie made for my paint supplies was great. And the canvas Teddy and Vern bought at May's Everything Shop on Main proved to be perfect for my new project.

Aside from the neat gifts from the guys, no one seemed to notice that May 15th, 1961 was any different than any other day. My mom, Caroline, was a Nurse's Aide at Castle General over in Castle Green. She pulled a double on my birthday, so a party was out of the question.

Her gift was in a big box on the kitchen table: a frilly pink and white dress that would hang in my closet until the day I died. I would never wear it. It was just another of mother's attempts to turn me into the perfect daughter she always wanted. I hung it next to this year's Easter dress that I never wore, last year's Christmas dress, and the skirt that was last year's birthday present.

If mom wanted to waste her money, who was I to stop her? I never expected anything worthwhile from her. The presents from the guys were the only ones I ever looked forward to. And Granny's five dollars that came by mail from Portland. That was nice, unless Charlie got it before I could. Then I'd have to wait until he got drunk and steal it back from him. Sometimes, I took a couple bucks more…interest, you know.

Three days after my birthday, the guys and I were sitting in the tree house discussing our good fortune. It had been three whole days and we hadn't even seen the Cobras, much less had a run-in with them.

"They're just pussies," Teddy insisted. "They talk a lot, but they ain't gonna do nothing to us!"

"I don't know, Teddy," I said, chewing at my pinky fingernail. "I heard Eyeball, Billy, and Charlie left town to go find Ace up somewhere near Togus."

"Why was Ace by Togus?" Vern asked, munching on a Twinkie. "You think he went to see Teddy's old man?"

Everyone looked at Vern as if his brain had just fallen out of his ear. "Vern…" Gordie started, but shut up when I elbowed him.

Teddy was starting to look mad and crazy. That was never good. Best to change the subject. "If Ace comes back with the knowledge that I was snotty with Eyeball, I'm as good as dead," I pointed out. "And, so are you, Teddy. You really pissed him off."

"Screw him, man. I'd like to rip off his head and shit down his neck." Teddy looked like the angry cartoon guys when smoke billows out of their ear.

Gordie shook his head and offered some real advice since ripping Ace's head off was only possible in Teddy's crazy imagination. "You might want to start sleeping with your window open, Abby."

We all knew what he meant. Since drunken Eyeball had decided to barge into my room one night a couple of summers ago, I started sleeping with the window up when a threat was imminent. Next door, Chris would do the same. In the event that a drunken Cobra slithered in, I'd scream, Chris would save the day like Mighty Mouse, and that would be that. Theoretically.

The one time I tried out the open-window-scream-rescue plan, my late night intruder turned out to be the very boy for whom I screaming. Turned out, the drunken Cobras were at his house that night.

I felt like sort of a pussy. No one else in the group had a rescue plan. "Guys, I'm not a pussy," I insisted.

"We all know that, Abs," Chris said, wrapping his arm around me. "But if my brother and Ace come after you, you're gonna need some help."

"Yeah, Gaily, that don't mean you're a pussy. That just means you don't want to be dead," Teddy said.

Gordie, Chris, and I all turned narrowed eyes to him. "Real good, Teddy," Gordie said, shaking his head.

And then Vern piped up. Poor kid. "What if they come for me, Guys? I live with one of 'em, Billy, you know?"

Teddy leered at poor Vern. "You _are_ a pussy," he said. "And Gaily lives with one of them too, you know? Or did you forget that her last name was Hogan?"

"I certainly don't need reminding," I said, rolling my eyes. "It's getting late though. I gotta go."

"I'll walk you," Chris said.

"You don't have to," I said.

"Bull shit! No one's walking around alone." Gordie used a stern, commanding tone when he spoke.

I nodded. Gordie only used that "fatherly" tone when he really meant business. I knew better than to argue.

On the walk home, Chris started a conversation immediately. "Why'd you want to leave so early? It's not _that_ late and it's Friday."

I shrugged my shoulders. "Something's coming, Chris. I can feel it." I shivered despite the beautiful seventy-five degree weather.

"They're not going to get you," Chris said. "Leave the window open. I'm there for you."

"I'm a pussy," I said, kicking a rock a few feet away.

"Don't say that, Abs. Shit, you don't think I'd want you, and Gordie, and Teddy, and shit, even Vern to help if Ace had me. We need each other. That's why we're best friends, Abs." Chris nudged me in the arm. "Right?"

I nodded and we walked along for a few seconds. I raised my leg up behind me and kicked Chris in the butt.

Chris tittered and reciprocated the action. We continued in silence to our houses.

"Is your mom at work?" Chris asked when we walked into my house.

"Yeah. She works all the time now. I think she hates being home because of Charlie too." I was sort of lying. Mom had started double and triple shifts when dad died the same summer as Ray Brower. I only really discussed his death and the problems it had it caused with Gordie, who lost his brother Denny that year too.

"Man, this is great," Chris said. He sounded kind of far away.

My head was buried in the fridge and I didn't notice that Chris had walked into my bedroom. "What?" I asked, joining him in my room across the hall from the kitchen.

He was staring at my recently finished painting of the tree house at sunset. "Thanks," I said, blushing. Why did I blush? I had no idea.

"You get those pictures back yet?" Chris asked.

I was fiddling around with the paint brushes and paints that were sitting on the stool next to the easel that held Teddy and Vern's unused canvas. My plan was to paint, from memory, the five of us standing, the way we always did, in the lot under the tree house, facing the sunset in the distance. I had a thing for painting sunsets. "Yeah, yesterday," I finally answered Chris after the vision of my next painting disappeared from my mind. "They're on the desk," I elaborated.

The pictures were ones I had taken of us over the past month. Photography was one of my passions. The old lady called it (and most other things I did in my free time) "hobbies." What did she know? "Hobby" was such a flippant word. When I was behind a camera, I was anything but flippant. Looking through the lens, I felt like I was seeing my subject for the first time. Or, at the least, in a different way than I ever had before.

"I love the pictures you take of me," Chris said, breaking into my thoughts again. "I usually hate having my picture taken, but when you take it…" Chris' voice trailed off and he just stared at the picture on top of the stack he was holding.

After he didn't say anything else for a good thirty seconds, I said, "What?"

He never looked up from the picture, but he said, "It's like I'm looking at someone else. I see myself so differently."

It was like Chris was taking the thoughts right out of my head and putting them into words. I smiled at the realization that Chris was my very best friend for that reason. We were so similar and he really _got_ me. I considered talking to him about my dad some time. Now wasn't the time though.

I walked over to him to get a look at this amazing picture that still had him so captivated. To an outsider (or even Teddy, Vern, and Gordie), the picture would have looked like any old profile picture of Chris. He was sitting on a grassy spot near the tree house with his legs tucked up to his chest. His folded arms were resting on his knees and his chin was resting on them. He was staring straight ahead, his lips pouted out the way they always were. His eyes were slightly squinted as if the sun setting to his right was getting to them.

The sunset in the background was breathtaking on its own, but Chris sitting there made it even better. He looked so beautiful, just sitting there, thinking about who-knows-what.

In that photograph, I had captured the sweet, fragile Chris Chambers that few knew existed and many downright refused to believe could exist. I had proof that Chris really was a beautiful soul. Photographic proof. But I didn't want to share it with anyone. I wanted to hide it, keep it all to myself.

It was at that moment, on that gorgeous spring day near the end of eight grade, that I realized I _loved_ Chris Chambers. Not in the way that I told him every time we left each other. Not the friendly love that we had shared since we were both in diapers.

Looking at that picture and feeling Chris next to me, I realized, without a doubt, that…I was in love with my best friend.

"Well, I gotta get going," Chris said after he finally shuffled through all of the pictures. "Can I keep this?" He added, holding up my picture of him.

I almost winced when he asked. I didn't want to give it up, not even to him. I wanted to keep it to myself, hidden, forever. But, for some reason, I nodded. "Sure," I muttered, staring at the floor.

"Thanks Abs," He said, patting my arm and heading for the door. "Remember to keep your window cracked tonight."

"I will," I said, finally looking up at him. "See you around."

"See ya. Love you," Chris called as he walked out of my room toward the front door.

"I love you," I whispered. I didn't say "too" this time, like I usually did. I didn't say "too," because I had the feeling that Chris hadn't meant it like I did. That feeling almost killed me.


	4. Chapter 4

_You can't talk now, so now you're dumb-Aleka's Attic_

Chapter Four

For the next few days, I stayed mostly around the house. I told the guys it was so I could work on the new painting. They always understood that I needed time alone to get a work done.

I gave the guys that excuse, but for three whole days, I didn't get much painting done. I puzzled over my feelings for Chris mostly. I painted the tree house first. It took me a whole day to get it done when it should have only taken about an hour. Every time I would add in a detail (a knot hole in one of the sides, some rust on the tin roof), I would think of something Chris had done up there. Something funny he had said.

When that happened, I would have to take a break to think, again, about these crazy feelings I had for him. By the time I finished the entire tree house, I was starting to think I was certifiable, that I oughtta be up in Togus with Teddy's dad. What was I thinking falling in love with a boy I had once ran around in nothing but diapers with? Was there not a rule against falling in love with your best friend somewhere?

It took me another entire day to complete the sunset, Vern, and Teddy. Vern stood kind of slumped, the way he always did, with Teddy next to him, resting his bent arm on his shoulder. At the end of that day, I was afraid to press forward. I knew I only had Gordie left to stall for time with. After Gordie, I would have to paint Chris. And that wasn't even the worst part. After Chris, I would have to paint myself next to him. I would have to paint my arm around him. I had to…that was the way we stood. I could not lie to the canvas simply because thinking about my arm around Chris made my stomach feel like tiny acrobats were using it to practice their routines.

I spent the morning of my third day holed up, worrying about the task at hand. By the time afternoon rolled around, I just stood and stared at the canvas. At the empty places where Gordie, Chris, and I were supposed to stand. The acrobats put on one hell of a show for a good two hours while I paced around.

Until, I noticed one glorious detail! In all my worrying about painting Chris and myself, I forgot to paint the gravel in the vacant lot. Vern and Teddy were standing on blank canvas. I had to give them something to stand on. I couldn't just leave them there like that. And I sure couldn't put three more people into a world where vacant lots were floored with canvas.

I grinned and began to slowly paint the rocks and dust on the lot floor. I put a good size rock between Teddy and Vern on account of the fact that Teddy loved to kick rocks around in the lot if he could find ones big enough to bother with. His gray and white gravel chunk was no boulder, but it was kick-worthy.

I had just finished it off when I realized that my stomach was rumbling. Not from worry, but hunger. It was going on six o'clock. I hadn't seen my brother for a week now. It was Saturday and I had a bad feeling that he was going to be making an appearance tonight.

I hurried to the kitchen and put together a bologna and mustard sandwich. I hated bologna, but Mom said ham was just a little too expensive since Charlie wrecked the car and she was still paying for the fix-up job. "Until Dad's insurance check came," she said.

The insurance company had been fighting with the mill for a year about where the fault lied in the accident. If they could pin it on Dad, make it like he had been drinking or something, they wouldn't have to pay. My dad never drank a drop, except a few beers on the Fourth of July. The mill was arguing this point, but the insurance company wasn't giving up on it. I had become resolved to the fact that we would never see a penny of Dad's money, but the old lady hoped a lot. Every time something happened, every time money was tight, if I asked for something like a new camera, she would say, "When the insurance check comes." I might as well be waiting for Hell to become a refrigerator dealership.

I gobbled up my sandwich in seconds and washed it down with a glass of milk. I wasn't going to be caught outside my room when Charlie and the other idiots came barging in. I put everything away and washed my glass before hurrying back to my room. All of the evidence that I was home had disappeared. Maybe they would think I was out with the guys if they came in.

I was finishing up the gravel in my painting at around nine. My window was open and I could hear Chris' dad hollering up a storm. I flinched when Chris let out a wail. His dad was hidin' him again. I never did understand why Mr. Chambers took to hitting poor Chris. He never did anything wrong, unless you considered staying out a little late and bumming a few smokes off his old man wrong. He didn't deserve what he got and that fact bugged me even more than it had before now that I loved him.

I walked to the window behind me. Our house was only a few feet from the Chambers shack. My window was directly across from Chris'. When I heard his door slam and then saw the light come on, I ducked away from the window. I didn't want him to see me if he looked out his window. He probably wished my window wasn't open or that I had gone temporarily deaf, so I couldn't hear what was going on. Chris hated the way his father treated him, the way his family acted, and the way he was regarded by the town because of it all.

I hated it too. I hated it, because it hurt Chris, but I also hated it because I couldn't, for the life of me, understand it. Why should the townspeople treat Chris like he's the problem, because his brothers are bad and because his father is a worthless drunkard that beats him up whenever it suits his fancy?

It puzzled me the way that Gordie's situation puzzled me. I never understood why everyone taught Gordie poorly, because Denny died and Gordie wasn't just like him. Could poor Gordie help it if he wasn't born Denny's identical twin, personality wise as well as physically?

It took me a long time to realize that some people are just closed-minded and stubborn as old mules. When they get to thinking one way, or liking one thing, they want to always think that way and like that one thing. And when they don't like something, they just plain hate everything associated with that one thing. It was something that still puzzled me even after I figured it wasn't the guys' fault and I still hated it.

Once when I went to church with Granny, the preacher was talking about compassion and understanding. He said that was God's way. He said God didn't see the color difference between people. And God seemed to understand when kids were dealt a bad hand, like Chris, Gordie, and even poor Teddy. After that Sunday in church, I got to thinking God was a pretty good guy. And I wished the people he made could have been more like him.

I don't think my brother, Eyeball, or especially Ace Merrill ever thought about God at all. Not that they would have given a hoot what he had to say if they did. I'm sure they would have lumped God in with all the other adults and authority figures they despised so much. They knew best, if you asked them. I would have hog tied Ace Merrill and forced him into Granny's church one Sunday if I thought it would do any good, but I think Ace Merrill was just plain evil.

He sure sounded like something right out of Hell when he came storming in the front door of my house at around ten-thirty that night. I was finally working on Gordie when I heard the howling and screeching. A chill ran down my spine. Goosebumps covered my body.

I hurried quietly to the light switch next to my door and flicked it off. I hoped the guys would think I was gone. If they saw my light on, knew I was home, I would be gone. Gone permanently, as in death by Cobra.

I inched backward, toward the window. I wanted to be as close to Chris, as close to safety, as I could be if they came barging into my room. I might have felt like I pussy if I had much time to think about it, but at that moment, my mind was only on one thing: staying quiet.

I backed up slower than the tortoise from the old story. I had my eyes on the door though I could barely see it. The moon offered only a dim shaft of light near the window. I could hear Ace's voice shouting orders, "Eyeball, get me a beer! Hogan, get some food!"

His voice curdled my blood. I was so focused on it that I didn't pay attention to what I was backing into. My easel clattered to the wood floor. My fear amplified the sound, like it was coming out of a rock band's amplifier. I covered my ears and held my breath.

The radio wasn't on yet, wasn't cranked up. Surely, the Cobras had heard that, or at least Ace. The sound of his voice put him at only a few feet from my door. I stood frozen in horror when I heard him say, "The sister's home. Charlie, why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know," Charlie said. His voice was growing closer too. "I thought she was out with the other little shits."

"Well, it sounds me like the bitch is home. Something made a noise in there and she ain't got a cat no more…Ace saw to that."

My stomach flopped. I felt like I might puke. A few months earlier, after a run-in with Ace, I had found my cat Whiskers dead on the back porch. Mom said it must have been the insecticide Mr. Chamber's sprayed around the back for her. I believed her. I never thought…it never occurred to me that Ace could have done it. I would have cried, sobbed, but I couldn't seem to do anything. I was frozen solid with fear.

The door opened slowly, a crack of light growing wider, spreading over my desk, closet, nightstand, bed. It was coming closer. The door was almost open completely. I couldn't move. I couldn't say a word. I couldn't scream for Chris to help if I couldn't even utter a mouse-like squeak. I was going to die. I just fall in love for the first time and now I'm going to die. What luck?

"Hey Sweet Lips," Ace hissed.

My eyes were wide as saucers. My heart was racing like even if the rest of my body wasn't going anywhere, it was going to get the hell out of Dodge. My throat must have already run away, because I still couldn't say a word. I just stood there, with my hands gripping the hem of my shirt (that might have actually been Teddy's), staring in horror as Ace marched toward me.

He grabbed me and threw me onto my bed. I squealed as I bounced down. If I could squeal, surely I could scream. I begged my vocal cords to work.

Ace was hissing unprintable words in my ear, blowing hot, sour breath on the side of face. His hand was slithering up my side, my (or Teddy's) t-shirt. Ace's other hand has locked around my wrists, holding my arms above my head.

A horrible thought sprang to my mind. Since I hadn't been expecting the boys today, since they knew I didn't want to be bothered, I hadn't taped my chest. Ace's hand was creeping up toward my exposed chest. The only think guarding me from a kind of death that you were forced to live through was the thin layer of cotton that my bra was made of.

Ace's tongue was flicking like a snake's over my neck. I refused to be his prey. I was no little mouse. I was pinned under him, but I could scream. I could scream and Chris would hear me. Even though he was just coming off of a beating from his father, Chris would come and rescue me. Wouldn't he?

Ace's fingertips were crawling slowly, but they were nearly there. I had to get him to stop.

Ace stopped, but it had nothing to do with me. Eyeball's voice came from the doorway to my room. "Come on, Ace…" He pleaded. I almost thought (stupidly) that he was coming to help me, until he continued on to say, "I told you I wanted her."

Ace's mouth left my neck long enough to bark at Eyeball. "Get the hell out of here! She's mine. You guys get lost. And I mean really lost. Take the car down town or something."

Eyeball knew better than to argue. I could see him turning to leave. I never thought I'd be sad to see Eyeball go, but I was wishing he would stay. There was no telling what Ace would do with no witnesses in the next room.

"Eyeball, turn on the light, will ya?" Ace barked out his question more like an order than a request. "I like seeing what I'm doin' here."

Eyeball acquiesced and the light temporarily blinded me. I snapped my eyes shut. Eyeball slammed the door shut behind him.

"We're all alone now, Sweet Lips," Ace hissed. I heard the gravel crunching in the drive and then tires squealing as the Cobras left. Couldn't Chris hear it too? Why hadn't he come when he heard all the yelling earlier? Couldn't he hear it?

Ace's hand was back to business under my shirt, following its same route, but moving more like the Hare now. I _had_ to do something. I opened my mouth, but nothing would come at first. Ace's hand covered my chest. It was only a matter of time before he would rip away the bra.

I screamed louder than I had ever screamed before (even the time Teddy threw a gardener snake on me when we were five…I hated snakes). I screamed for Chris even when Ace slapped my face and warned me to shut my mouth. He could have slapped me all night, at least his hand was away from my chest.

When I didn't stop shouting for Chris, Ace backhanded me hard. I heard the crack before I felt the blood trickle out of my nose. My face hurt like my arm hurt when I felt out of the tree in Chris' back yard three years ago. I stopped screaming. I had to…it hurt too bad to scream.

"That'll teach you," Ace barked. I could feel him fighting the button on my jeans.

"Where the hell is Chris?" I thought frantically. "I'm going to die. He's not going to rescue me."

My face hurt so bad that I thought I might pass out. I felt Ace pulling my jean zipper down. Then, I heard the door swing open and bash on the wall. Thank God, it was Chris, my knight in shining armor.

He grabbed Ace from behind and wrestled him to the floor. Ace was a good fighter, but he was no match for the blade Chris had in his right fist. Chris held it to Ace's neck.

"I'll kill you once and for all, Ace," he growled, pressing the knife blade into his neck. A bead of blood popped up. It was bright red against Ace's pale skin.

Ace pleaded for his life. Chris was serious. He could see that. Chris' face was red and sweaty. Ace squirmed, pleading with Chris to let him live. He swore he'd never touch me again.

Chris pressed harder and Ace squealed like a little girl. "Chris," I said, finally climbing off the bed. Adrenaline might have been kicking in, or maybe it was just shock, but the pain in my face seemed duller.

"I'm gonna kill him," Chris said. "I'm gonna kill him, so we won't have no more problems."

"Chris!" I shouted as Chris started to move the blade across Ace's neck. He stopped. I put my hands on his shoulders. I wanted to crouch behind him, but he was straddling Ace, sitting on his stomach and I didn't want to be anywhere near what was under Ace's stomach. I squatted next to him, so he could feel me on his side. "Chris, if you kill him, I'll have more problems than I ever had."

"Ace is the problem. If he's dead…" Ace squealed again as Chris pressed.

"Chris, you'll go to jail if Ace is dead. You'll go to jail forever and I'll be alone. I won't have you to protect me."

"You won't need protectin' if Ace is dead," Chris repeated.

Chris made a good point, but I couldn't have him killing Ace and going off to jail. More than that, God said killin' was bad. And bad people went to hell, didn't they? Hell was way worse than the state pen. I couldn't have Chris going there. I pleaded again, this time involving old feelings and my new ones. "Chris, I love you," I said. "If you go to jail, I'll die here without you. I couldn't stand losing you. I'd rather fight twenty Aces than lose you."

Chris turned to me, the knife still firmly pressed against Ace's bleeding throat. "You love me?" He asked. The way I said it must have told him that I meant it differently than the way we had always meant it before.

I nodded. I couldn't say anything else. My mouth wouldn't work again.

He stared at me for a few seconds and then said, "I love you too." I could have died right there and been happy. Chris turned back to Ace. He leaned down close to his face. I let go of his shoulders. "If this _ever_ happens again. If you ever so much as look at her funny, I'll kill you. I'll kill you, so I'll never get caught. They won't be able to find your body, Ace. Believe that, you'll die, but I won't go to jail, because you'll just be gone. If anything happens to her…you're dead. You got it?" I watched as Ace nodded. I hope he really did believe it. I did.

Ace ran from the house like somebody lit a fire under his ass. His life had been threatened once before, back on the Harlow road. But Ace didn't take Gordie seriously. I hoped for his sake and Chris' that he took Chris seriously.

Chris was furious when he realized that my nose was broken. He stomped around my room, shouting, "I should have killed him! I wish you woulda just let me kill him!"

I sat down on the end of my bed and cried. I didn't cry a lot, especially in front of the guys, but I was really shaken up. Fear was still coiled around me from Ace, but now I had the "love" issue looming over me too. I said it. I let it out. And, sure Chris said it back and he seemed to mean it the same way, but did he really? Was it a caught-in-the-moment thing? I was worried he would change his mind and tell me I was an idiot. And, as if all that wasn't bad enough, my nose was hurting like all hell again.

I couldn't think of anything else to do, but cry. I was shuddering by the time Chris noticed. He stopped shouting and hurried to my side.

"I'm sorry, Honey," he whispered, holding me close to him, careful not to hurt my face. "Did he hurt you awful bad? I mean…" Chris had noticed my pants, but hadn't mentioned it until now. "Did he hurt you like the way that Frank hurt that girl and got sent up for it?"

Frank was Chris and Eyeball's older brother. He spent time in Portsmouth for raping a girl four years ago.

I shook my head to answer Chris' question. I was going to say that he meant to, but I couldn't get it out. I just hugged onto him hard, like I wouldn't let go if he tried to pry me off.

"You gotta go to the hospital," Chris said. "What are you gonna tell your mom? Are you gonna tell her about Ace?"

"No!" I snapped so quickly and sharply that my nose started throbbing. "I can't tell her," I said more calmly. "If I tell her and she gets Ace sent up, the rest of the Cobras will kill us. Eyeball's grooming himself for leader if anything happens to Ace. And you'd be the first one he'd go after. He'd kill you if I told. I'm not doing it."

"Okay, okay," Chris said. "Calm down. Come on…I'm calling an ambulance."

"I'm not taking an ambulance for a broken nose," I countered.

Chris groaned. "Well then we're going to Vern's. His mom's gotta be heading in to relieve your mom soon anyway. She can go a little early and take you with her."

**A/N: Hope you're all enjoying the story. Thanks for reading! It will be a little while before I post anything more, because I'm busy working on a few other stories, but more is coming! Remember to review! Thanks again!**


	5. Chapter 5

_I won't be afraid as long as you stand by me-Ben E. King_

Chapter Five

Vern's mother worked with my mother at the hospital, sometimes the same shift, but thankfully this day, they were on opposite ones. We discussed our story on the way to Vern's house. It was decided that we were playing around in the dark in the back yard and I tripped, fell, and hit my face on a log. I didn't know if mom would buy it or not, so I rubbed some blood on a log in the back, hoping that would prove it.

Vern's mom was in a tizzy when she saw me. She fussed over me like it had been my neck that was broken instead of just my dumb old nose. Vern took one look at me, turned a funny green color, and ran off to puke somewhere. I felt sorry for him, but I was glad he hadn't gotten a good look at me. I didn't want him running to tell Teddy I had grown some "jugs" over night. It was bad enough Chris knew. At least he wouldn't tell the whole state.

"Thanks Mrs. Tessio," I said as she drove me to the hospital in Castle Green. Chris wanted to come along, but Mrs. Tessio thought it would be best if he stayed behind. She was probably right. Mother would likely blame this on him.

When I got to the hospital, Mrs. Tessio contacted my mother before she even grabbed a doctor. Here I was, blood running down my face onto the cloth she had given me, my face hurting like all hell, and she wanted to call my mom first. Was I not in enough pain? I needed to listen to my mother's hysterics for forty-five minutes too?

My mother came running into the waiting room with her hands on her face. Her eyes were wider than Teddy's looked when his Coke bottle glasses magnified them. "Abigail Lynn Hogan! What has happened to you?" She screeched. She must have missed the signs that politely instructed, "Please be quiet!"

"I'm afraid her nose is broken, Caroline," Mrs. Tessio replied as if Mother had just screeched her name at the top of her voice.

"Your nose! Oh my…how did you do that?" Mother demanded. She grabbed my arms and gave me a light shake. Yeah, that's what I needed when my nose was gushing blood. I was a little dizzy anyway.

"I fell in the back yard," I fibbed. "It was dark."

Mother shook her head and rubbed her nose. You'd think it was the broken one. "Can I get something done about this?" I asked finally.

"Of course, Dear," Mrs. Tessio said. Mother just nodded along. "Come on." Mrs. Tessio led me down a plain white hallway and into a room where I would have to wait for a doctor for half my life.

It turned out that I only had to wait a few minutes. The perks of being the daughter of a nurse? Maybe. Or maybe doctors just take bleeding profusely from the face a little more seriously than mothers. Okay, so it wasn't profusely, but it wasn't exactly a tiny droplet every once in a blue moon either.

Anyway, Dr. Franks (who should have just been named "Dr. Hot Dogs"), sent me to have some "pictures" taken of my face. "Pictures" is the word the doctor uses when he thinks you're five instead of thirteen. I had some X-Rays taken and Dr. Hot Dogs looked over them. Five years later, He told me I was lucky. I told him I wouldn't be going out to buy any lotto tickets, because I didn't feel that lucky.

Apparently what Oscar Meyer meant was that my nose could have been a lot worse. It could have been hanging off my face at an odd angle or something like that. Instead, it was just a little fracture that would heal in about a month. For that month, I could do what I wanted as long as I was careful not to "fall on anymore logs." I assured him I would avoid the logs. Chris had taken care of the "log," so to speak.

When Mom took me home, I had a weird looking cast-splint type thing on my nose. It wasn't the most comfortable thing, but at least I had some pain pills now. I wouldn't have to feel like a truck had run into my face anymore. I would have to make sure to hide them from Charlie though. The doctor said if you took too many, you would feel a little loopy. That was right up Charlie's alley.

When we got back to the house, Chris was lying on the front porch swing that my dad had built the summer that he passed away. He was asleep, but Mother put an end to that quickly. "Christopher Chambers, get off of my porch swing and go home! It is much too late for Abigail to have friends over!"

Mom didn't usually care about the guys being over, but on the drive home, she tricked me into telling her I was with Chris when my nose broke. Of course, she was convinced it was somehow his fault. I wished I could tell her that if Chris hadn't been there, I'd be dead. She probably wouldn't have believed me if I had told her.

"Mom, Chris is just worried about me," I told her. Chris was now sitting up and shaking his head like our old mutt used to shake after a bath. He must have been asleep for a while. I was glad the Cobras hadn't returned. They would have killed him for sure. "I'll be inside in a minute. I want to explain," I added when she didn't budge from her spot at the door.

"One minute is all you have Abigail and then I want you in this house and in bed. Dr. Franks said you needed to get some rest after you took your pain pill," Mother said. She was walking into the house, but turned to add, "Give me that bottle." I didn't like the way she looked at Chris when she demanded that. It was like she thought he'd want them for the reasons I thought Charlie would want them.

I wanted to tell her Chris wasn't like that. I wanted to scream at her, defend my best friend, the boy I loved. But it would have done me no good. She would have just said my minute was up or something like that. I handed them over and she disappeared.

"So, you're not hurting anymore," Chris said. I jumped. I hadn't realized he was right next to me.

My face flushed and I was glad it was kind of dark on the porch. "Yeah, I feel all right now," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "The doctor said I just fractured it. It will be better in about a month. Not too bad."

Chris shook his head. "I still kind of wish you'd have let me kill him," he muttered.

"Shh," I hissed. "I fell on the log, remember? We're not telling anyone else the truth, except maybe Gordie. I don't even want Vern and Teddy to know. Vern would be mortified and Teddy would try to kill Ace." I glared at Chris and added, "Which I don't want _anyone_ to do."

Chris nodded and then stared at his feet. "When can you come back to school? I can skip to hang out with you if you want?"

Chris was still staring at his shoes, but I shook my head anyway. "I can go back on Monday if I want, but Mom says I might want to take a few days. I'm going to have some bruises. You have to bring me my homework."

Chris' head snapped up. "You trust me bringin' that stuff?"

I laughed. "Yeah, Chris, I trust you. You can bring Gordie as a chaperone if you want."

Chris smiled. He looked amazing. His smile was just a small one, but it lit up his whole beautiful face. He was about to say something when Mother called out for me.

I called back to her. "Sorry," I said. "I gotta go or she'll storm out here."

"I know," Chris said, still half-smiling. "My window's still open. Use the light signal if you need something or scream if it's another emergency." Chris and I had a system to get each other's attention. It was great for late nights as long as the other person was awake and paying attention. I flashed my flash light off and on three times if I wanted him to come over, two if I wanted him to come to the window.

My mother hollered again. I could hear the impatience in her voice. I wanted to tell Chris I loved him again, but I thought we might need more time for that. "See ya, Chris," I said.

He had been walking down the front steps, but he turned back to me and said, "Not if I see you first." He had the most beautiful smile on his face. I wanted to kiss him or even just hug him.

I bounced down the steps and wrapped my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my back. "Thank you, Chris…for saving my life."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you're okay," He whispered. His breath was warm on my neck. I wanted him to say he loved me. If he said it first, I would know he really truly meant it. "Abs…I…" He began. He was going to say it. He was going to say he loved me! My heart rate quickened. "I…"

"Abigail Lynn Hogan!" Mother threw the front screen door open. "Get in this house! Christopher Chambers, go home!"

"Sorry, Chris," I whispered. I pulled away from him and hurried onto the porch. Mother practically shoved me into the house and slammed both doors shut.

"Bed time!" She shouted as I headed into my room.

I was sad that Chris had to go, but glad that it was time to sleep. My eyes were starting to burn, a sure fire way to tell that I was exhausted. I opened the second drawer of my dresser in search of a night shirt. The first one I saw was an old baseball jersey. Once upon a time, it belonged to Denny LaChance. I hadn't worn it since Denny's accident.

I guess now would be as good a time as any to explain why I had a bunch of shirts that belonged to the boys I was friends with.

Sometimes I borrowed them (that was case with Teddy's shirt), sometimes they left them if we went swimming in the creek down in the woods behind my house (that was the case with Gordie's), and sometimes they gave them to me. Denny gave me the jersey after I told him how great it was. He won a game in that jersey. Chris had given me a few shirts to sleep in if I slept over. I just ended up keeping them.

I stared at Denny's jersey a long time before I pulled it out and put it on. I had really liked Denny, but my grieving process was over. I'd still never wear it in front of Gordie, but alone was okay.

I flipped my light switch to off, hollered "good night" to Mother, and headed for my bed. I was snuggled under the quilt Granny made for me when two circles of light flashed onto the wall of my room. I sighed and rolled out of bed. I loved Chris, but I felt like I might die. The pain pill had suddenly made me feel like I could sleep for a year.

I staggered to the window and pulled it up. Bracing myself on the sill, I leaned out. "What?" I asked.

Chris was sitting on the sill of his window. If I sat on mine and reached over, we could probably touch each other. "I wanted to say good night," he whispered as loudly as one can whisper.

I had thought maybe he would say he loved me. I was disappointed, but I doubt Chris could tell. My face was stuck on the same expression: exhausted beyond belief. "Good night," I said, starting to duck back into my room.

"Abs," Chris said. I sighed and sat down on the sill. I held onto the window to avoid falling and leaned out a bit. Chris was staring at me with a funny kind of look on his face. He looked lost between sick and joyous. "I love you, Abs," he finally said.

Good gravy! I got excited and fell out of the window. "Damn!" I said as my bottom hit the hard ground outside my window. Chris rushed to my side.

"Are you okay?" He asked, helping me up.

"I'm fine. Be quiet before my mom hears us and gets suspicious," I said. I was wondering how to get back through the window without Chris seeing my underwear. I was wearing only undergarments under Denny's jersey, no shorts.

"I'm sorry I made you fall," Chris whispered in my ear. He was holding me in a way that made me wish I could fall asleep right then.

"I love you," I said. I didn't say I forgive you, because I figured I love you covered forgiveness for a lot of mess-ups.

Chris laughed softly. I broke free from his hold and started back to my window. He grabbed me again and whirled me around to him. "See you tomorrow," he whispered. And then he did something that I never would have imagined Chris doing to me. He kissed me, right on the lips. Gosh, his lips were even more beautiful when they were pressed against mine. I felt like I could really die now and that would be okay. Life couldn't get much better than that, could it?

I didn't think so. But I was positive that it could get a whole lot worse. And, as always, it did. Almost exactly one month later, life got worse.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thanks so much to everyone that has been reading, reviewing, adding me as a favorite author, the story as a fave, or just adding a story alert. I appreciate all of it. I hope you enjoy this next chapter as much as everyone seems to have enjoyed the previous ones! Have fun reading and remember to review!! -Amandaoftheyear**

_You're making excuses. It just seems pointless._

_-Taking Back Sunday_

Chapter Six

The most popular summer past time for children, no matter the decade, always seemed to be swimming. When my mother was a child, living in Harlow, she and her brothers swam in the Royal. When I was young, the guys and I swam in two places: the creek in mine and Chris' back woods or the large pond in Vern's back field.

I had been avoiding swimming in either place since summer began, which thankfully coincided with the breaking of my nose. I used that as an excuse to stay out of the water. Chris, who probably knew my real reason for staying out of the water, always backed me up. He even shoved Teddy off of the small dock-like structure on the edge of Vern's pond when Teddy became too adamant that I swim.

One month after my accident/near death-by-Ace, the doctor removed my splint-cast and thereby stole my excuse. When Mother pulled the car into the drive after my appointment, the four guys were sitting on my porch, Teddy and Vern swinging in the swing, Gordie and Chris on the steps. I sighed.

Gordie and Chris parted like the Red Sea, so Mother could walk up the steps. She frowned down at them and headed into the house. It wasn't that Mother didn't like them. It was just that, she really wanted a daughter that acted like a girl. Maybe she blamed them for making me act like a boy. Parents always seemed to have odd ways of thinking.

"Hi guys," I said, hoping no one would ask to go swimming.

"Hey Gaily! You look just great with that thing off your nose. Now, we can go swimming. The creek's down, but Vern's pond is ready to go!" Teddy exclaimed, jumping off the swing. It hadn't rained in three weeks in Castle Rock. All the creeks were starting to dry up.

"Teddy, she just got home from the doctor. Give it a rest," Chris said. My protector.

I smiled down at him, hoping the guys wouldn't read my smile like a sign painted with huge lettering: I LOVE CHRIS! That was what the smile was saying, but no one seemed to notice. Chris and I had kept our feelings a secret the past month, from the guys and from ourselves, it seemed. Chris and I would gaze into one another's eyes at night, just before going off to sleep, and say, "I love you" in a way that sounded like we would be together forever and ever. But in the day time, it was back to being normal old Chris Chambers and Abby Hogan, two best friends. Sometimes it bugged me, but sometimes I thought it was better that way.

"Yeah, Teddy, I'm kind of tired," I fibbed. I was doing a good deal of fibbing lately. That wasn't good, but what choice did I have? If Teddy and Vern, even Gordie, found out that I had magically sprouted breasts over night, they would sure get a kick out of it. They would rib me _for_ever!

"Well, it's only noon. Go take a nap. We'll swim later on. It'll be hotter later anyway." Teddy was nothing, if not persistent.

"Nah, maybe tomorrow, Teddy," I said, hoping he would finally drop the subject. I walked toward the front door of my house in an attempt to cement the finality of my choice.

"Fine, but we'll be back tomorrow, first thing!" Teddy insisted.

I had a reprieve from Teddy until tomorrow, but I knew Chris would return that night to talk over the situation. Sure enough, I was working on my latest painting at around eight, when Chris knocked on the window.

Startled, I jumped. A little jar of red paint went flying from the stool I used for a table. It crashed to the floor, paint spilling all over the wood. I cursed and ran out of the room to get something to clean it up.

When I returned with a wet rag, Chris was wiping drips from the edge of the small jar with his handkerchief. "Chris, that will never come out!" I shouted.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to scare you," He said, staring at the puddle on the floor. He was still wiping at the jar.

"Chris, stop," I said, taking the jar from him. "This paint will never come out of your hanky." I got on my knees and started wiping up the paint on the floor. I had spilled it before. It came up okay. And what didn't, I would use paint thinner on. It would take up some of the wood's varnish…if it had any left to take up. Our house was built in the late 1890s.

"I'm sorry, Abs," Chris repeated. I watched as his hanky, one his grandfather had given him when he was little, as it sailed into my trash bin. Chris loved that hanky. When he was two, he used to hold it and suck his thumb…he had a picture taken on his Grandfather's knee doing just that.

"I'm sorry, Chris," I said, standing up and dumping my rag in the bin. I picked his hanky out. "I can try to get it out."

"It's fine," Chris said. "It's just a hanky." I nodded. Chris threw the hanky back into the trash bin. "This is looking really good," he said.

"What?" I asked, looking up at him.

"Your painting," He explained, pointing to the canvas.

The painting was one of few I had done without including myself in it. It was the front porch scene from yesterday: Teddy and Vern sitting in the swing with their legs out in front of them, Chris and Gordie on the steps looking up at me. It was also one of the few that did not include the sunset. I had been using the red paint and a fine tipped brush to put the horizontal stripes on Vern's red, white, and blue striped shirt. Vern had one stripe only half way complete.

"Thanks," I said, picking up the small brush, dipping it in the paint, and finishing off Vern's stripe.

"I don't know how you always make us look so good," Chris said. "Even Teddy…you're a miracle worker."

I laughed. "I think you've all got good qualities. I just have a way of making them pop. It's love, I think," I said absently.

"Love makes you paint better," Chris said. "Glad I could help," he added jokingly.

I turned toward him and shook my head. "I meant the love I have for all you guys," I said. "When I see you guys, I don't see a funny looking guy with huge glasses, a chubby kid, a nerdy kid, or…" I stopped when I got to Chris, because I had never ever been able to see him the way other people did. I understood the way everyone felt about the other guys. If you didn't know them, it was easy to peg them that way. But Chris…I just couldn't say anything bad about him.

"A no good hood," Chris finished for me. "You can say it. It's okay. I know you're just saying what everyone else thinks of us."

"I can't say that about you, Chris," I said. "I don't understand how everyone else can. Everyone else sees flaws, or in your case, creates them, because they don't care. They don't love you. They don't even like you, but I do. I paint the way you guys are, not just the way you look."

Chris didn't say anything. He just kissed me gently on the lips. I hugged him afterwards for what seemed like a long time, but was probably only a few seconds. When he pulled away, his face was serious. "What are you gonna do about Teddy?" He asked.

My eyebrows wrinkled. "In the painting?"

"No. What are you going to do about him wanting you to swim?"

"I don't know," I admitted. I moved to my bed and sat down on the edge. "I guess I have to sooner or later. Gran says these things are only going to get bigger. I won't be able to tape them down forever. I just don't want the humiliation. You know Teddy is going to give me so much crap."

Chris shrugged his shoulders. "I'm sorry," he said. "Vern wants us all to tent out in the back field tomorrow. Maybe Teddy will be so happy that you're there, He'll let you get by without swimming."

"Who are you trying to kid?" I asked, tittering.

Chris laughed loudly. I was glad Mother was working and Charlie was…well, somewhere. Neither of them would be pleased to find Chris in my room this late. "Sorry, Abs. I guess you're just going to have to sock him tomorrow."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks to everyone that has been reading the story and leaving me wonderful review or messages. I appreciate everyone of them and reply to every one personally! Sorry, it has been so long since I updated. I tried a couple of days ago to add Chapter Seven, but the site was down or something. So, I'm giving you two new chapters today. Yay! Hope you enjoy. Remember to REVIEW! Thanks again. Amanda.**

Chapter Seven

The next morning, I packed up a little bag with my swim suit, a blanket, and extra clothes for afterward and the next day. Tenting out had always been one of my favorite things to do over the summer, but this time I had an ominous feeling as I set out for Vern's house.

"Hey, aren't you gonna wait up?" Chris called when I was almost halfway down the road.

"I thought you were already there," I called back, stopping in the middle of the road and waiting for Chris to catch up.

"Did you bring your suit?" He asked when he caught up.

"No, I figured if they were going to be out, they may as well be all out. I'm skinny dipping," I joked.

Chris laughed a fake, exaggerated laugh, then stopped on a dime and said, "That's not funny."

"Race you to the stop sign," I challenged. The stop sign I spoke of was a good half mile down the road.

"No…I don't really feel like it," Chris said, slowly walking on as I just stood there.

"Oh no you don't, Chambers!" I shouted.

"Go!" He shouted, taking off.

Chris did this quite often, a little "trick" he learned from Gordie who had pulled it on him several times. It never did him any good. I always won. Coach Haskins said I was a shoo-in for the track team, but who would want to run around with a bunch of girls from the view when I could just as easily run around with my friends?

I beat him to the sign, but only by a bit. He hadn't gotten that much of a head start, but my pack was heavy, weighing me down. I socked him in the arm for cheating me anyway.

"Aw," He grumbled, holding his arm. "Is that any way to treat the guy you love?" He asked.

I stared at him in shock as I tried to catch my breath. He had never mentioned "love" in the day time before. I was stunned silent.

My face must have read as such, because Chris frowned and said, "I figured since it was just us, it would be okay to tease you that way. Don't worry. I'm not going to tell the guys, not even Gordie."

I shrugged my shoulders. "I wasn't worried," I said. "I just didn't expect you to say anything. We don't usually acknowledge our feelings for one another until the night."

"I thought you wanted it that way," Chris said.

I didn't know what I wanted, but I didn't want to tell him that. I wished I could. Part of me wanted to be able to walk down the street holding his hand, kiss him before we climbed up to the tree house, say I loved him in front of the guys…but part of me wanted to keep it a secret. There are some things that just lose their magic when they're shared with too many people. I didn't want what I felt for Chris to diminish in any way.

"Don't you?" I asked.

Chris shrugged. I stared into his eyes, hoping they would tell the thoughts he could not verbalize. They looked the way my eyes did when I stared into the mirror at home, hoping they would tell me what to do about this thing. I knew then that he felt the same way I did. And it only made me love him even more.

"Let's just go on to Vern's house, Darling," I said. It was the first time I had ever used a pet name for him, but I thought the occasion kind of called for it.

Chris smiled as if he thought so too and we continued on to Vern's house as if nothing was different. When we got there, Vern and Teddy were setting up the tents in the back. Gordie was walking up the drive ahead of us. Chris took off running and grabbed him from behind.

I just shook my head and walked slowly behind them. I was in no hurry. When Chris and Gordie had already run around back, I was still a quarter of the way down the drive. Mrs. Tessio stuck her head out the door and called to me. "Come inside and get a glass of lemonade, Dear!"

I picked up the pace and trotted inside. Perhaps I could waste time with Mrs. Tessio all day and avoid swimming. "Thanks," I said when she handed me a glass of iced lemonade.

"You're welcome, Dear. I see your nose has healed quite nicely. Vern was worried that you'd end up with the small bump on your bridge like his cousin Edgar," Mrs. Tessio said. She was wearing a floral print apron and flitting around the small kitchen like a butterfly.

It smelled like cookies. Mrs. Tessio was always baking something. I wished my mom would bake sometimes. Just the smell of fresh baked cookies makes the house feel more like a home.

"I've got sugar cookies in the oven," Mrs. Tessio said as if she read my mind. "And I've got a batch of chocolate chip waiting to go into the oven."

"I like sugar cookies. Gran sends them down on Christmas," I said, eyeballing all the contraptions in Mrs. Tessio's kitchen. I wondered how Mrs. Tessio could have the same job my mother did and still manage to do all this baking and cooking when my mother couldn't even make breakfast for me.

Mrs. Tessio stopped flitting around the room for a moment and just stared at me. She must have wondered why I was staring at all of her things. I stared into my glass and sipped my lemonade. "I'll make up a separate batch for you to take home with you," she said.

"Oh no…that's okay," I said, shaking my head.

"Oh, it's no problem, Abby," She said. "I love to bake. You'd be doing me a favor."

I nodded and smiled. Mrs. Tessio looked exactly the way you'd picture a fifties woman looking. She always wore a bright colored (pink, orange, green) dress and her chestnut hair was curled and pinned in a pretty way. I could never see myself dressed in such a girly way, but if I wanted to look like a girl someday, I think I'd model myself after Vern's mom. She always looked so nice, even if she was a little overweight.

My own mother never wore her hair curled. She wore it straight down to the middle of her back. And she never wore a dress. When I was younger, she wore ankle-length skirts and button shirts, plain and not very pretty (not that I much cared for any skirt). Lately, she had taken to wearing pants that she called high waters, but just looked like pants she bought a size too short. She could have saved some money by just holding onto pants she'd outgrown.

"What are you doing in here?" Teddy's voice came from the back of the house. He was looking in the screen door at the back of the Tessio kitchen.

"Drinking a lemonade, Teddy," Mrs. Tessio answered for me. "Would you like one?"

"No, thank you," Teddy replied. He was only ever polite to Mrs. Tessio, sometimes my mother. "I want to get to swimming. The tents are up. Come on, Gaily!"

I should have known better than trying to hide in the kitchen. It might have helped if I had been able to say I was interested in learning about baking, but the guys would have known that was a flat-out lie. I wasn't domestic in the slightest. I could clean house, but that was the extent of my womanly inclinations. "I'm coming, Teddy," I said. "Thanks for the lemonade, Mrs. Tessio."

"You're welcome, Dear," She replied. She was back to impersonating a butterfly now.

"Gaily's ready!" Teddy shouted as soon as we got off the back porch.

My stomach was doing its circus act again. I wondered if getting breasts was embarrassing if you weren't friends with a bunch of dumb boys, like Teddy Duchamp. "Where are you going?" Teddy asked when I started to climb into a tent. There were only two, one for Teddy and Vern and one for Gordie, Chris, and me to share.

"I have to change!" I shouted. I changed as slowly as possible. I could hear splashing. They were already in the pond. I had been toying with the idea of being the first one in. Maybe I could hide the entire time. Yeah, right.

When I emerged from the tent, wearing my plain blue two piece bathing suit (I wanted a one-piece, the two was Mother's idea.), the guys were splashing around in the water, dunking each other under, and hollering like lunatics. I crossed my arms over my chest and walked slowly toward the pond.

Teddy was, of course, the first one to look at me. "Well, isn't that a perfectly girly suit?" He teased.

I snarled at him. "Don't make me sock you!" I threatened. "My dumb mother picked it out!" I kept my arms firmly crossed while I was shouted at him.

Gordie noticed this when no one else (except maybe Chris) seemed to. "You cold, Abby? It's like eighty degrees out."

I could have killed Gordie if he hadn't had such an innocent look on his face. I knew he had no idea why I was really covering my chest. Chris was staring down at the water. He couldn't even look at me.

"Well, come on, Gaily…what the hell are you waiting for, New Year's Day?" Teddy shouted.

Vern looked confused. He did that a lot. "Why would she wait for New Year's?" He asked. I hung my head. "It's too cold to swim then." Poor Vern. He was never the quickest guy, but he was sure sweet.

I walked slowly toward the dock and then slowly down it, toward the water, toward the guys. Teddy plopped himself up onto the end of the dock. When I was next to him, he reached up and tugged my arm. "Come on…" He started, but then stopped. He could see. "Where did you get those?" He demanded.

"Get what?" Vern asked. "If it's cookies, my mom baked 'em."

Chris tittered. I shot him a death look. "You're mom would have to be one hell of a baker to bake these, Vern-O," Teddy said. "Where'd you get 'em?" He asked me again.

I was fuming. My face was fire hot. I balled my hands into fist and dropped them to my sides. I saw Vern and Gordie's mouths drop open. "I bought 'em at May's Everything Shop, Teddy," I replied sarcastically. "Where the hell do you think I got 'em, you dummy? God gave 'em to me, although I can't think of what I did to be punished like that!" I shouted.

Teddy just stared at me, at them to be more precise. "Maybe they were just a present for me that got mixed up in the mail. They should have ended up on Wendy Simons, but ended up on you instead." Teddy laughed like crazy until I socked him in the arm so hard he fell into the water.

Chris and Gordie howled and pointed at him as he came floundering up out of the pond, waving his arms like he was drowning in the three foot water. I was glad the attention was off me.

The novelty wore off Teddy after he cursed at me for a full minute. The attention was back to me. Vern looked up and plainly asked, "When'd you get 'em?" He asked just like he was asking when I had gotten a new pair of shoes. Breasts didn't seem to be a big deal to him.

I shook my head and sat down on the edge of the dock, my legs dangling into the water. I splashed the water with my feet for a second before even attempting to answer Vern. "About three months ago," I finally said.

Vern's eyes bugged out of his head. "How'd you hide 'em this long?"

I was about to explain when Chris spoke. "Hey, Vern, man, maybe she doesn't want to talk about this stuff anymore! You're not exactly asking her about a pair of shoes or something."

I gawked at Chris. I was starting to wonder if maybe he was a mind reader. "Can we just swim, like we always do, and forget about it?" I asked.

"Nah, maybe we better just get out," Gordie said. He was staring down as he walked toward the bank.

"Come on, Gordo," Teddy called, grabbing him by the arms. "Jugs don't make Gaily different. She's still the same old Gaily."

I shook my head and hoisted myself off the dock into the water. It was hot outside, but the water was cool. The nights had been cool. Mother called that an Indian summer.

Gordie never did look at me, the whole time we were swimming. I don't think he felt the same way Teddy did. To him, "jugs" did make me different. I was a _girl_ now. I wasn't the same friend he'd had for years. When we climbed out of the pond and Gordie was the first one to head for the house to change, I was angry. I was angry at my stupid chest and at Teddy for making such a big deal of it. What had this done to my friendship with Gordie? Had I lost him?

That night lying between him and Chris in the tent, I found out that I hadn't lost him at all. But I also discovered that I had a bigger problem.


	8. Chapter 8

_You're staring me down…a glance makes me weak_

_-All American Rejects_

Chapter Eight

The rest of the night was filled with awkward glances and silence from Gordie. I was so worried that I thought I might cry. When Chris and I crawled into the tent, I was sure Gordie would say he had decided to sleep somewhere else. He was treating me like he just couldn't bear to be around me, but he crawled in after Chris and I had already gotten settled.

Chris turned off our little lantern, set it outside the door, and zipped up the tent. "Night Vern! Night Teddy!" He called. They called out the same for the three of us.

It was pitch black, darker than it had ever been before and the ground seemed harder. I was restless already and I had only been laying down a few seconds. "Good night," I said.

"Good night, Abs," Chris said. "Night Gordie."

"Night," Gordie muttered. I felt like He was only saying it to Chris. I wished Chris were next to him. I felt awkward, but this was the way we had always slept when we tented out. You don't just change decade old tradition.

After about twenty minutes, Chris started softly snoring and I knew he was fast asleep. I could feel that Gordie was awake next to me and I wondered if he could feel the same about me. He must have been able to sense it, because he turned on his side, I think facing me. I still couldn't see him very good even though my eyes had adjusted to the darkness. His voice out of the dark startled me. "Abby," he whispered.

"Yes, Gordie?" I replied.

"I'm sorry about the way I've acted today," He said.

"Oh no," I thought. "He's going to tell me that he's sorry we can't be friends anymore."

I almost cried. "You hate me, don't you?" I whispered.

"What?" Gordie said in his normal voice. Chris grumbled and turned over. "Sorry," Gordie whispered. I could almost hear the grin on his face.

I grinned myself in spite of my doom and gloom thoughts. "Do you hate me?" I asked again when I was sure Chris was still asleep.

"No," Gordie whispered. "Why would I hate you? You're my best friend besides Chris."

"You too," I said. And then we hugged, because it seemed like the right thing to do after proclaiming our best friendship. "Why'd you act weird today then?" I asked when we parted.

Gordie was so quiet I might have thought he was asleep if I didn't know any better. After a minute that seemed more like an hour, I said, "Gordie…what's wrong?"

"I don't know how to say it," He admitted. He sounded agitated. I couldn't figure out why. If he didn't hate me and we were still best friends, what was he so upset about? What did he have to be so worried about? I was puzzling over it so much that my head was starting to ache.

And then it hit me like a fast ball thrown by a careless pitcher. No…it couldn't be. Gordie didn't…

"I like ya, Abby," Gordie finally whispered.

I cursed in my mind. Why did he have to say that? Why did he have to feel that way? I liked Gordie, sure. He was even kind of cute, I guess, but well, you know. I was in love with Chris.

When Gordie grabbed my hand in the dark, I almost jumped right out of my skin. He apologized quickly, but still held onto my hand. I wanted more than anything to rip my hand away, but I couldn't for some reason. "You think I'm weird for liking my best friend?"

Geez, if he only knew. "Nah, I know how you feel, Gordie," I said.

Perhaps, I should have chosen my words a little better. Like maybe I should have said, "I'm in love with Chris, Gordie," because he took it wrong. Way wrong. Before I knew what the hell was going on, I felt his grip on my hand tighten and then his thin lips pressed against mine. How the hell he could even see my lips to kiss them, I didn't know. I felt like I was going to die or at the very least lose my mind. Gordie had his lips pressed against mine for years, or at least that's what it seemed like. I guess he probably wasn't a _bad_ kisser, but compared to Chris…he was nothing. And I didn't know how the hell to tell him that.

When he pulled away, I could feel excitement radiating off of him. I wondered if he could feel the exact opposite radiating off me. He could. "You okay?" He asked.

"Not really, Gordie," I admitted. I finally broke free from his grip. "Gordie, when I said I knew what you meant…I meant that…"

"You like Chris," He finished for me.

I was startled. "You know?" I whispered so low I was surprised he could even hear me.

"I wondered," he said. "I knew he liked you. I kind of had the feeling you liked him too."

"How did you know he liked me?" I asked. If he knew that Chris liked me, why would he tell me he did?

"The way he looks at you sometimes," Gordie explained. "The way I would have looked at you if I had the courage. But, I'm just a pussy."

I smiled and I was glad he couldn't see me. He would have thought I was making fun of him. I wasn't. "You're not, Gordie. It takes a lot of guts to tell someone you like them. I know…I almost died telling Chris."

Gordie made a funny noise in his throat. "You told him?" He squeaked.

I wanted to kick myself. I shouldn't have shared that with him. "Yeah, but we didn't want to tell anyone else. Sorry."

Gordie was silent again for a while. I thought I really had lost him then. "You and Chris belong together," He finally said. "You're perfect for each other."

"I'm sorry, Gordie," I said. And I really felt bad. I would have really liked to love him, but I couldn't. My heart belonged to Chris.

"It's okay. I'll get over it, Abby. Shit, we're better friends anyway. If we were more than that, who would I talk to about all that stuff we talk about?"

I smiled, wishing that time that Gordie could see me. "I agree, Gordie," I said. "I'm glad I've got you for a best friend."

"Me too," He said. He patted my arm. "Sorry again for acting weird. It's just you seemed more like the girl I like today than the best friend. I'll get over it. Don't worry."

I was a little worried, but I wasn't going to tell him that. I didn't want him to think the idea troubled me. It was just that I didn't want him to be hung up on me when he knew I was with Chris.

Two weeks later, I realized that boys are as fickle as hummingbirds. If you forget to fill the feeder to attract them, they'll just flit onto another house to get what they want. This realization, along with a few others, came at the Castle Rock Independence Day Celebration.


	9. Chapter 9

_Going faster than a roller coaster, love like yours will surely come my way-Buddy Holly_

Chapter Nine

I'm not sure who decided that fireworks should be used to celebrate the birth of our country, but I'm sure glad they did. There was nothing better than lying on the field of the fairgrounds, staring up at fireworks exploding in the night sky. Except maybe running around with your friends, riding the Ferris wheel, drinking Cokes, and eating corn dogs.

Chris and I were sitting at a picnic table together, sharing a coke and eating corn dogs when Teddy and Vern walked up. We were a little early. We usually showed up as a team at seven when they turned the rides on. It was just past six and everyone was either preparing barbeque or eating it. The only ride that was up and running was the carousel and the oldest kid on it was seven.

"Where's Gordie?" Vern asked, taking a bite of one of the two corn dogs he held in his hand. He sat down across from me, Teddy across from Chris.

"Why are you two sharing a Coke?" Teddy asked, giving us the eye. We still hadn't told anyone. I hadn't even told Chris that Gordie knew.

"Short on funds. Charlie stole my birthday money again. And he hasn't been home since a week after I broke my nose, so I haven't gotten it back yet. And I don't know where Gordie is…wasn't at his house when we stopped by."

"More important question is…where'd you get the money to buy all that?" Chris asked, pointing at the array of carnival food in front of Vern. "Did you finally find the pennies?" None of us had the heart to tell Vern that his brother, Billy, had most likely stolen the quart jar of pennies he buried under his porch some time back. He was convinced he'd find it one of these times. He dug around when he was bored.

Vern shook his head. "Nah, Mom gave me the money. Why didn't you get some from your mom, Abby?" Chris kicked him under the table. "Ouch, Chris, what'd you do that for?" He whined.

Chris shook his head and sighed. I laughed. "We're a little short on money these days, Vern," I explained. I didn't mind talking about things a little as long as the company wasn't mixed…it rarely was.

Vern was about to offer me some of his funnel cake, I think, when Gordie walked up. He had his arm around Marsha Walker, a poor girl that was a grade behind us. She was nice and kind of pretty in a plain sort of way. She always looked tired. I think she had it bad at home. She always had been crazy about Gordie. He had never shown any interest in her until now. My mouth fell open. The guys followed suit, except Teddy, who as usual had something to say.

"What the hell, Gordo?" He shouted.

"Guys, this is Marsha Walker," Gordie said as if we'd never met her. She was in my PE class, for crying out loud. All girls PE sucked. Gordie stared at the ground and rocked back and forth on his feet. We all said "Hi" to Marsha. "We're kind of seeing each other," Gordie continued.

My cheeks burned. I couldn't tell you why it bothered me, but it did. I felt like he was only dating her, because he couldn't have me. It was an immature way of thinking, but I was only thirteen, so I didn't beat myself up about it.

"Oh, well, isn't that just great?" Teddy exclaimed. Marsha flinched. Gordie just shook his head. Teddy rattled on sometimes about how girls would tear apart our group one day. He always said it like I wasn't a girl. It killed me. Teddy was so crazy.

"We're going to ride the Ferris wheel," Gordie said. He turned with Marsha and walked off toward the big wheel that had just gotten switched on.

I watched them walk away for a minute. My cheeks burned. Chris looked worriedly at me. "You okay?" He asked.

"I'm fine," I said, dropping my corn dog onto my paper plate. Jealousy can make you lose your appetite. I didn't know why I was jealous of Marsha Walker or Gordie. And I didn't like it.

"You gonna eat that?" Vern asked after a few minutes. I swear Vern Tessio could eat more than any human I had ever seen. And he loved corn dogs. I gave it to him.

"Let's go ride the wheel," Teddy said. Vern was still finishing off my corn dog. I had only taken two bites before I relinquished it to him.

"Vern's eating," I said. Truthfully, I just didn't want to get on that thing with Gordie and Marsha.

"Come on, Vern-O. Hurry up," Teddy urged. "If we can get on with Gordie and Marsha, we can throw stuff at them when we're higher up than them."

"Why do you want to throw stuff at them?" Chris asked. His eyes were narrowed at Teddy.

"I have jellybeans," I offered. Chris turned surprised eyes toward me.

"Why are you encouraging him?" He asked. He sounded like a concerned parent. It made me laugh.

"Okay, I'm ready!" Vern said, hopping up from the table. He still had cotton candy and half a coke. He finished the coke and shoved the bottle in his long pants pocket. He could turn it in later for five cents.

Teddy and I hopped up from the table as quickly as Vern had. Chris took a little longer. I could tell he disapproved of our plans. I would have disapproved of too if I had slowed down to think about it for a minute.

Vern offered me some cotton candy, but I declined. Teddy and I ran to the wheel. Vern and Chris walked quickly behind us. When we got there, the line was pretty short. Gordie and Marsha were near the front. Teddy and I cut in front of them.

"Hey!" Gordie snapped.

"Come on Gordo. Be a pal," Teddy said, laughing stupidly. I was starting to regret not waiting for Chris. Gordie just shook his head. Marsha giggled.

Chris came jogging up next to us just as we were about to get on. He pulled me back. "Chris, what are you doing?" I asked. He pushed Vern on with Teddy instead.

"Why do you want to throw stuff at Gordie?" He asked. He was holding my arm and staring deep into my eyes. "Is it because of Marsha?"

I gasped. How did he know? Was he really awake that night?

"All of Teddy's stupid talk is just that, Abby," Chris said.

"What?" I asked. What was he talking about?

"Teddy is wrong. Even if Gordie married Marsha he wouldn't stop being friends with us," Chris said. He rubbed my upper arm slowly. Goosebumps flocked to it.

I shook them off. "Yeah, you're right," I said. I decided not to tell Chris the true reason I was upset about Marsha and Gordie. I wasn't even sure myself why I was. Maybe I just wanted to be able to have Chris' arm around me in public.

"Come on. Let's get on the Ferris wheel," He said, putting his hand on my back and guiding me back into line.

We were almost to the wheel when a voice behind us turned my blood to ice. "Looks like your nose is all better," Eyeball hissed. "Better be more careful next time, Sweetheart." He grabbed my arm and pulled me to him. Chris was ready to pounce, but Eyeball waved him off with a blade he was holding at my side.

I flinched when the point of the blade pressed against my back. "Just come with me, Sweet Face, and you won't have any more accidents," he hissed in my ear.

I stared at Chris, begging him with my eyes to do something, anything. I was terrified thinking of what evil things Eyeball would do to me if he got me away from the fair. If he got me alone, it would be bad enough, but if he was a messenger for Ace…I was dead.

"Chris!" I squeaked as Eyeball started to pull me away. Chris looked terrified and puzzled. When I saw that look in his eyes, I knew there was nothing he could do. If he tried, he would end up getting one of us killed. I ran the risk of Eyeball slashing my side, but it was a chance I had to take. He was pulling me away from Chris, but slowly. "Eyeball," I said.

"Shut up," He barked.

"You're never gonna get away like this. Ernie at the Kettle Corn cart was already looking at us. I think he's gonna tell someone," I said. Ernie had never even looked my way, but he had a funny face. You'd swear he was giving you a dirty look when he was just glancing around. Eyeball would buy it. He had a paranoid nature.

"Bitch, I could gut you right here," Eyeball said.

"Don't you think I know that?" I snapped angrily. Eyeball pushed the knife point in a little to prove his point. Thank God it wasn't that sharp. I would have been bleeding if it was. "Loosen your grip, Eyeball, so we can walk normal. If we're walking normal, people will think nothing of it."

In addition to being paranoid, Eyeball was stupid. He loosened up a little, changed the position of the knife, and I brought my leg up in one swift movement. It collided with his crotch, as I had planned, and he doubled over. I got away without a scratch.

I ran like someone was shooting at me. I jumped into Chris' arms. I didn't care who could see us. My heart was beating faster than I would have thought was humanly possible. I needed his arms around me.

"I'm sorry, Abs," He whispered. He was holding me again like he never wanted to let go.

"I love you," I whispered back. "I love you" was always better than "I forgive you" to us. "I forgive you" implied "just this one time." "I love you" meant "I forgive you always."

"I love you too," Chris whispered back.

I could hear Ernie from the Kettle Corn cart shouting at Eyeball. Maybe he had been looking at us after all. A lot of people seemed to be looking at us now, Vern, Teddy, Gordie, and Marsha included. The guys, all except Gordie, looked confused. Marsha smiled and hugged close to Gordie.

I wasn't jealous of her anymore. Gordie was a good guy, but he was nothing compared to Chris. As long as I had Chris, I would never be jealous of another girl.

By the time nine o' clock AKA time for fireworks rolled around, I had gotten over once again being attacked by a Cobra. The guys still weren't over Chris and me though. You'd think two hours would be more than enough time.

We were all sitting out in the field. Everyone else was in lawn chairs, but we were all sitting on the grass, waiting for the works to start. I was sitting between Chris' legs, leaning back on his chest. Marsha and Gordie tried to mirror us, but Marsha is a little bigger than poor little Gordie. She decided sitting next to him and leaning on his shoulder would be a better idea.

Vern and Teddy were sitting next to each other, having a great time poking fun at us. They would lean over and make kissy noises at each other. Then one of them would make a barf sound. A couple of regular romantics, they were.

"You two are so dumb," Chris said.

"_We're_ dumb!" Teddy exclaimed. "You're the dumb one. Who would ever date Gaily?"

"Gee thanks, Teddy," I said. Chris hugged me close to him and kissed my shoulder. Teddy made another barf sound.

Thankfully, Mayor Higgins announced that the fireworks were about to start. The booms, bangs, and pops of the beautiful fireworks drown out the sound of Teddy and Vern being obnoxious. And after a while, they were so busy looking at the beautiful bursts of color that they forgot about ribbing us.

Watching the Independence Day fireworks was always a fun time, but being snuggled against Chris made it a hundred times better. Maybe I was a little biased, but I thought Teddy was completely off the mark when he said girlfriends would be the downfall of the gang. To me, the summer of '61 looked like it just might be the greatest summer we'd ever had. Despite the fact that I felt so amazing then, I felt like the best was yet to come.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Thanks to everyone that is reading the story. I hope you're all enjoying. Double thanks to everyone who is reviews to let me know that they love it! I really appreciate it. I'm posting Chapters 10-13 today, because I'm having surgery on Friday. It could be a few days to a week before I'm feeling up to posting anymore, so enjoy. And, if you're the praying type, say a prayer for my surgery. Thanks to everyone. **

Chapter Ten

To the rest of the world, July had one holiday. When the fourth passed, the month became just a plain old hot summer month again. For us, the month of July had two holidays. When the fourth passed, we all began scrounging up spare cash to buy Vern's birthday presents.

Vern was never a hard guy to buy presents for. Two sure things would make his day: anything edible or comics. Since it was his landmark thirteenth birthday coming up on the eleventh and since I had managed to steal back my five dollars with an extra three in interest, I splurged for a Batman comic, a Twinkie, and some Cherry Pez. Vern could live on Cherry Pez alone.

I woke up early on the morning of Vern's birthday. His party was set for two in the afternoon. Vern's mom was baking the cake and cookies the morning of, so it couldn't be any earlier. I understood, of course, but that meant I had the entire morning free. With nothing to do.

Normally, on a Friday morning, I'd be headed for the tree house. The guys and I would play a few hands of poker or scat if it was too hot to think about much. On this Friday morning, however, Teddy's mom had taken him up to Togus to see his dad. And Gordie had not yet returned from his week-long stay with his cousins over in Chamberlain.

I decided to do what I always did when I had several hours to kill. I painted. I had purchased four new canvases with the money I stole back from Charlie. My next series of paintings were to be portraits of the guys. A week ago, I had sorted through a massive pile of photographs I had taken of them. I chose my favorite of each of them (except Chris, I had to get the photo back from him) and now I was going to paint them as I had already photographed them. I had a feeling Mrs. Hedrickson, the art teacher, would be proud of me for combining two different mediums in my project.

My first subject was to be Vern. I had thought about giving the painting to him for his birthday, but Vern wasn't much of an art lover. He would appreciate sweets and comics much more. The photograph I had chosen of him was a plain one. He was just sitting on a chair up in the tree house with poker cards in his hands, but he was laughing at something funny Teddy had just said. The still had captured an adorable grin that absolutely summed up Vern's personality.

Normally when I painted, I would do a foreground piece first just to mark where it began and the backdrop ended. I would then fill in as I went along. With this, I decided to complete Vern, the edge of the table in front of him, and his chair before I even started to fill in the walls of the tree house behind him.

The picture was a close up, so only the edge of the table showed. It spanned the entire length of the canvas. I had the entire thing finished and had started Vern when I felt a presence in the room. Not a Casper the Ghost type presence, but just someone watching me.

I turned around quickly. Chris was staring in the window with his arms rested on the sill. He smiled when I waved my fingers at him. "Would you like to come in or just enjoy the show from the window?" I asked, turning back to my canvas.

"Well, if you're gonna be that way," Chris began. "I think I'll just go on to Vern's house by myself."

I dropped my brush onto the little easel tray in front of the canvas and turned back toward him. Liar, he was climbing in the open window. "You have to come through the house to go to Vern's by yourself," I teased.

Chris gave me a sour look and hurried over to me. He grabbed me by the waist and pulled me to him. He was hot from standing outside. I wondered how long he had been standing there just watching me.

I must have had a funny look on my face, because Chris pulled away. "Sorry," he said. "I'm sweaty, I know. I was outside picking up the bottles Eyeball and the others left around the house."

Chris was sweaty, but he didn't smell bad. He never did. I couldn't explain it. It wasn't like he wore cologne or anything. He just naturally smelled good.

"I don't care about that," I told him, pulling him back to me. "I love you," I said, hugging him.

"I love you too," He whispered, wrapping his strong arms around my back. After a few seconds, he pulled back a little and added, "I love the way this new painting is turning out too. Vern-O already looks pretty good." I had only painted the very top of Vern's head. I had just started his second eye when I noticed Chris. He was flattering me, I knew, but I liked it.

"Thank you," I said. "I'm saving you for last."

Chris let me go back to the easel and sat on the edge of my bed. "Is that kind of like when you hope you get PE last hour, because you hate it so much? You want it to be the last thing you have to do."

"Yeah," I replied sarcastically. Chris scoffed. "Haven't you ever heard the phrase, save the best for last?" I asked, painting Vern's right eyebrow.

Chris laughed and nudged my back with the toe of his Converse Hi-Top. I lost my balance and jolted forward, running Vern's eyebrow line nearly to his hair line. "Oh damn!" I shrieked.

"I'm sorry, Abs," Chris said, jumping up and grabbing my upper arms from behind.

I stared at the line on Vern's face, wondering how I'd fix it or cover it, and chuckled. It looked so ridiculous. "I'm sorry," Chris repeated, giving my arms a little squeeze.

"It's okay, Chris. I love you," I said. He kissed the back of my head and whispered the same.

I ended up using a little paint thinner to get most of it out. When it dried up, I had to cover it over with the skin tone paint. "You can't even tell," I said, standing back and admiring my repair job.

Chris smiled. "Nope, you sure can't. You're a genius."

"Tell that to Mrs. Browning," I muttered. Mrs. Browning was our social studies teacher. She had it out for the guys and me.

Chris laughed. "Did you get your marks?"

Chris was speaking of our final report cards. Mine had come by mail this morning. I nodded and finished up Vern's eyebrow, correctly this time. "She gave me a C. I never missed a thing in her class."

"At least we won't have her next year," Chris said. "She'd flunk you just for seeing me."

I laughed like Chris had just made a joke, but he was probably right. The teachers thought they could do whatever they wanted in Castle Rock.

Chris lay back on my bed and just watched me for hours as I finished up Vern's head and half of his torso. I wasn't used to having an audience when I painted and I didn't much care for having one. Even ten, twenty years later, Chris was the only person I could stand watching me. Anyone else would drive me crazy.

"We'd better get going," I said after I finished up the pocket on Vern's shirt. "It's almost two."

I got together the things I bought for Vern and put them into a blue bag I had bought from the Stationery Shop in town where Teddy's uncle worked. I hoped Vern would like it.

"You bought him a Twinkie?" Chris asked, laughing as I loaded the bag.

"He loves them," I said. Chris just kept up laughing. "Well, what did you buy him that's so much better?" I asked. We had planned to go shopping together, but Chris had some excuse on the day I decided to go.

He stared at the floor now and fidgeted. I took the Batman comic out of my bag and handed it to him. "What's this for?" Chris asked.

"For you to give to Vern," I said. Chris looked at me like he wasn't sure how I knew he didn't have a gift. I could read his body language like he was a paperback book.

Chris smiled and kissed my cheek. "Thanks," He said.

I kissed his cheek and shrugged my shoulders. "I really love ya, Chris. I understand."

Chris suggested just presenting our gifts to Vern together, as a couple, but I refused. I didn't tell him why, because I thought it might hurt his feelings. But I didn't want Mrs. Tessio to catch onto the fact that Chris and I were seeing each other. She would feel obligated to tell my mother and I wasn't itching for her to find out. I had my ideas about why Mother hated Chris so much, but it would be only a short while before I discovered that my ideas were all wrong. She had a secret reason for hating Chris that only came out, because of the heat of an argument.

When we arrived at Vern's house, we discovered that the other guys were already there, even Gordie, along with some other kids from school and Marsha Walker. Chris handed Vern the comic as soon as we saw him in the backyard.

Vern beamed. "Gee, thanks man. This is really cool," he said, holding out the comic in front of him. "Really cool," he repeated.

I handed him my bag. On the way through town, I had stopped by the Stationery shop and added a pack of Bike cards to it. Vern had always enjoyed the idea of playing poker with his own deck of cards. "Cherry Pez!" He exclaimed. "Man, Abby, this is my favorite food." Vern probably thought Cherry Pez had its own food group. I just nodded and smiled. Making my friends happy always made me feel happier.

Mrs. Tessio was on the back porch, carrying two trays of cookies down to the table she had set up next to the steps. I smiled and gave her a wave. Teddy suddenly appeared behind her, having just come out of the back door. When he saw me, he hollered, "Geez, you'd think you two were married! We've been here for years, waiting on you two lovebirds to finally show up! Why the hell did you have to wait around for Gaily, Chris?"

The blood drained from my face. Mrs. Tessio was staring at me with an odd look on her face. I could have killed Teddy. After placing her cookies down, Mrs. Tessio walked slowly toward us. I was in for it. She liked Chris just fine, but I could tell she didn't like the fact that we'd been sneaking around.

She took me in the house without making too much of a scene. When we got into the kitchen, she sat me down at the table. Vern's cake was three rounds stacked on top of each other, two white, one chocolate. Mrs. Tessio went back to icing it with a big rubber spoon looking thing. I thought maybe she wasn't going to say anything after all. Maybe she just wanted an audience to watch her work.

I watched for a few seconds, but then lost interest. I stared out the window behind Mrs. Tessio's head. Chris was at bat in the baseball game that had just started. I longed to be out there with them. I was one hell of a pitcher. I was about to ask if I could be excused when Mrs. Tessio finally spoke.

"Abigail," she began. I knew I was in for it then. She never called me Abigail. I sat up straight and looked back at her. She was still icing the cake like this conversation was no big deal. "When I was your age, I wasn't allowed to even keep boys as friends, much less go around with them the way you do."

I wasn't keen on the way Mrs. Tessio was making me sound. Chris was the only boy I had ever "gone around" with and I had just started that up. She was making me out to be like Marie Dougherty or Beverly Thomas, two of the rough-looking girls that ran around with Billy Tessio and my brother. I squirmed in my chair as she started up again.

"I don't think it's a bad thing for you to be friendly with my boy, Teddy, Gordie, or even Christopher, but…" She finally stopped icing and made eye contact with me. I looked away, at the floor. "You're so young, dear. Do you really think it's a good idea to be going with Christopher?"

Half of me was glad Mrs. Tessio wasn't yelling like I knew my mother would when she told her, but the other half of me wanted to tell her to mind her business. I wasn't her daughter (not that I cared what my own mother would have to say about it). I didn't know how to answer her, but I could feel her staring at me and I knew I had to say something.

I almost told her I loved him, but adults never believe that children can feel love the way they do, even if they are thirteen. "Chris and I are really just like best friends that hold hands a little," I told her. It wasn't far from the truth and it was none of her business that we had taken to kissing each other quite a bit.

She smiled when I looked at her. She was easier to appease than my mother. "I should have known Teddy was just being a little rascal," she said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry I brought you in here and gave you the third degree."

I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't care too much about it, although it did bug me that I was missing a game of ball. "Are you going to tell my mom?" I finally asked. Mrs. Tessio had gone back to icing her cake, but stopped and looked at me.

"Your mother already knows that you're friends with Christopher, doesn't she?" She asked. I nodded. "Then I have nothing to tell her." She went back to slathering white icing over the cake. "Go back on outside and play, hon."

"Thank you, Mrs. Tessio," I said, scurrying outside before she could change her mind.

We played ball for about an hour until everyone got overheated. The guys never did ask why Vern's mom had dragged me off and I was glad. I didn't want to explain myself, especially to Teddy.

When we all settled down at the picnic table in the Tessio's back yard, Vern's mother brought us all out a piece of cake. I was glad mine was thin, because heat and super sweet don't mesh well. Chris and I were sitting side by side, across from Gordie and Marsha.

"We should have made a couples table and a table for everyone else," Teddy complained. Vern nodded in agreement, because his face was too stuffed with cake to say anything.

"Shut up, Teddy!" I barked.

"Yeah, Teddy, you're just mad, because you don't have a girl," Gordie said.

I rolled my eyes. I could feel a fight brewing up like a summer storm. Teddy's eyes were as dark as storm clouds. "I am not!" He shouted. "I wouldn't want some stupid girl hanging all over me all the time, like Marsha does to you. Or some dumb girl holding me up, making me wait to go everywhere with her like Abby does Chris!"

My blood pressure was rising like the thermometer my mother used to make Thanksgiving turkey. I went red. I jumped up from my spot and stormed over to Teddy. "You callin' me dumb?" I demanded. My hands balled into fists automatically.

"Yeah, I am, Gaily. You lost your brains when you thought of going with Chris!" Teddy boldly said, turning back to look up at me.

I set my jaw and just glared at him for a second. "I don't want to sock you, Teddy," I finally said. "Because we're pals, but you better take it back or, so help me…"

Teddy was about to say something. It probably wasn't what I wanted to her, but I would never know, because Mrs. Tessio came bolting off the porch. "Abigail! Teddy!" She shouted. "What is going on here?"

If we hadn't been at Vern's house, I would have belted Teddy right in the face. I had too much respect for Mrs. Tessio to belt someone in her presence. "I'm just getting too hot and Teddy's teasing me. I think I need to go home," I said. I unclenched my fists and walked away from Teddy.

"If you're overheated, why don't you come inside?" Mrs. Tessio asked.

I shook my head. "I just need to go on home," I said. "Thanks for inviting me. Happy Birthday, Vern."

"Thanks Abby," Vern said. He was still shoving cake in his face. It didn't bother him that one of his guests was leaving.

I trotted around front, ignoring Mrs. Tessio's shouts from behind. She wanted me to come back inside for a while. I didn't want to sit around while the guys played around outside. I wasn't heated up by the weather. Teddy was just driving me crazy.

I was a little ways down Vern's road when Chris caught up to me. "Slow down, Honey," He called, grabbing my arm and stopping me.

"I want to go home, Chris. It's just too hot. I'm tired and Teddy's driving me crazy."

Chris nodded. "I know," He said. "I would have been along with you sooner, but I had trouble getting Vern's mom to let me go. I'm sorry."

I stared right into Chris's eyes. They were beautiful, like the ocean, a blue-green. I smiled at him. He always seemed to make things better. "I love you," I said.

Chris grinned like it was Christmas morning and his name was on the biggest present under the tree. "I love you too," he said, kissing the tip of my nose.

We raced back to my house, breaking every so often to chop up the four miles. I won the last dash race down the main road that led to our houses. "You owe me a Coke," I joked. It was a rule that went without saying: if you lost the race down the road, you bought the winner a Coke.

"You might be waitin' a while," Chris said, following me into the house.

I felt bad for forgetting his money troubles. I walked over to the fridge, rooted around for a few seconds, and finally found the coke I had purchased with my birthday money. I handed it to him. "You won more times than I did," I said, kissing his cheek. "Let's watch some TV, huh? I'm tired."

Chris used the bottle opener on the counter to open the coke and followed me into the living room. I had heard they were showing Three Stooges marathons on channel four all week. I wasn't sure why, but if you asked me, they didn't need a reason. The Three Stooges was (and still is twenty-some years later) the best show ever made.

Chris and I settled onto the couch, him leaning back into the corner of the arm, me leaning back into his chest. We shared the Coke and watched the Stooges. My favorite was always Curly. I thought he was the funniest and I made the mistake of taking a drink right before Curly finished up his gag. When he squirted himself in the face with a bottle of seltzer water, it just got me. I laughed hysterically and Coke squirted out of my nose. Chris, who hadn't been previously laughing was rolling on the floor, holding his stomach, and cackling.

After a few seconds, I realized that my nose was burning. It was no longer funny. I squeezed my nose, wishing it would stop hurting. "All right, Chris, you can stop now," I said. He was starting to annoy me, laughing his ass off at my expense.

When he didn't stop, I pounced on him, the way we always had when we horsing around with each other. I got him pinned down on his back and straddled him. "Knock it off, or I'm going to tickle you until you cry. Then, we'll see who's laughing," I said.

Chris stopped laughing on a dime and stared up at me with wide eyes. I could tickle Chris until it actually hurt. It was fun to do when he had been bugging me. The best kind of payback is the kind that hurts, but only a little bit.

To my surprise, Chris only looked fearful of my threat for a moment. Then he grabbed my face with both his hands and pulled my head down to his, covering my lips with his before I even had a chance to fully process what was happening. My hands gripped his shoulders as he rolled me clumsily onto my back.

Chris' hands were on my face and then my neck, in my hair. I felt odd like I wanted to run away, but at the same time, I never wanted to be anywhere, but right here like this with him. He slipped his tongue into my mouth, something he'd never done before. My eyes flew open and then slowly closed again as he began to kiss me in a way I had never even thought about.

After a few seconds, my stomach started to feel funny. It felt almost like it had the night I told Chris I loved him, but also like the time I ate six s'mores at a camp out at Vern's. I pushed Chris away from me and did a sped up version of the crab walk to get away from him. When I was about a foot away, I struggled to get to a standing position.

We both gawked at each other for a few seconds and then said, in unison, "I'm sorry." Despite everything, that made us both titter.

"I love you," Chris whispered. "I didn't mean to…" His voice trailed off and he stared at the living room floor.

I turned abruptly and walked toward the television set. It was weird, trying to focus on Chris, and hearing Curly "n'yucking" in the background. Chris' eyes looked more like oceans than they ever had when I turned around. I realized quickly the reason being that there were tears in them.

"Chris," I said, rushing to him. I hugged him and rubbed his back. "What's wrong?"

"You want me to leave?" He asked.

"No," I said quickly. After a moment, I added, "Never."

Chris and I were hugging like we would be content staying in the same position for the rest of our lives when I heard a throat being cleared somewhere in the vicinity of the front door. I couldn't see the body that the throat belonged to, but I knew it was my mother. I pulled away from Chris and turned my eyes to her.

Her jaw was set and her eyes were narrowed. "Christopher, out," she barked.

Chris gave me a sorry look and turned away. I grabbed his hand. "I love you," I whispered.

He turned back quickly and mouthed, "I love you too" before he scurried out of the house. He reminded me of a pup that had been kicked so many times that he always feared the next strike would come when he least expected it. I wiped a tear from my eye and set my sights on Mother.

"What was he doing here?" She asked, slamming the door after she walked into the room.

"We were watching television together, Mother," I said.

"That's amazing considering the television is switched off," she said, heading for the kitchen.

"I just switched it off, Mother," I said, following her. A fight loomed over us. I was just waiting for her to really explode.

"I don't want you getting mixed up with that boy, Abigail," she said, opening the refrigerator and putting a paper carton on the top shelf.

"What was that?" I asked.

"Leftovers from lunch today," she replied. "Did you hear me? I saw the two of you, all over each other in there. I do not want you…"

"I thought you took your lunch this morning, a sandwich in a plastic bag," I interrupted.

Mother frowned. "Dr. Franks treated me to lunch, if you must know," she said.

My mouth dropped. "What?" I demanded. "If I must know! Yes, I think I must know when you're having lunch dates with doctors. Let me know if I can break a leg, so maybe you can get a dinner date with that doctor!" I shouted, storming off to my room. What the hell was Mother thinking dating another man? My father hadn't even been gone an entire year! I jumped onto my bed, buried my face into my pillow, and sobbed.

Mother breezed in a few moments later. "You listen up, Young Lady!" She shouted. "You do not just storm off like that when we're discussing something!"

I jumped off the bed with a quickness that startled Mother. She backed off a few paces. "You listen up!" I shrieked. I risked getting knocked on my ass even though Mother had never laid a hand on me. It would be worth it. "You can't lecture me about Chris when you're off at work having lunch dates with doctors!" Tears were rolling down my cheeks, but I wasn't sobbing anymore and my voice wasn't wavering. I narrowed my eyes at her. "If Chris died, I'd never even look at another man!"

Mother slapped me so hard I nearly fell backward. I had an outline of her handprint for the rest of the night. She screamed threats first and then apologies. I just ran. I ran out of my room and through the living room. I barreled out the front door.

I had no idea where the hell I was going. I didn't care. I just kept running. I had to be away from her.

Half way down the road that led to town, I heard the crunching gravel behind me. I felt the presence. I stopped abruptly and turned.

Chris ran me over like a freight train. I fell back, tucking my head forward so it didn't crack open on the road. "I'm so sorry!" Chris said, tugging me to my feet.

I shook my head. Tears were streaming down my face. "I love you, Chris."

"I know that," Chris said, hugging me tightly. "I heard you."

"What?" I asked, clutching his shirt. The irrational fear that my mother, aided by some magical powers, would pull us apart, consumed me.

"I was outside your window. I heard you tell your mom that if I died, you'd never look at another man," He explained, rubbing my back slowly.

"I meant it," I said.

Chris was silent for a few moments and then finally said, "Pinky Swear?"

"Pinky swear," I said, letting his shirt loose long enough to lock pinkies with him.

At that moment, it never crossed my mind that one day my words might be put to the test.

They would be, sooner rather than later. Just a few short weeks later, my words would be tested. My pinky would be on the line.

Chris would die.

**A/N: Aren't you glad I have the next chapter posted, so you can hurry up and read it? Thanks for reading. Please forgive any typing errors that may be in this and the next few chapters. I didn't get a chance to review them, because I have the surgery coming up and just wanted to get them up for you to read. Thank you again. REVIEW!**


	11. Chapter 11

_I used to follow you, never really cared where we would go, _

_fast or slow, to anywhere at all_

_-Daughtry_

Chapter Eleven

Two weeks later, just when July was giving way to August, Teddy had a breakdown of sorts and fled to the tree house. Gordie and Vern were in the tree house at the time, reading comics and mystery magazines. Although the radio was on, as it always was, Gordie could hear Teddy ranting to himself as soon as he stepped foot into the vacant lot.

When Gordie climbed down from the tree house, his intentions were to help Teddy as we all had on several occasions. However, when Gordie saw the crazed, angry look in Teddy's eyes, he knew that he could not handle the situation on his own. He ran full speed past Teddy, who didn't even seem to notice him. He barely noticed that Teddy was ranting about his old man. His mind was on one thing: locating Chris and me.

Coincidentally, at the same time Gordie was running to my house, I was in my room painting his photograph, the third in my series. Chris was lying on the bed watching me as he had been since eight this morning when Mother left for work.

I could only have Chris over if she was out of the house. Thankfully, since our fight, she had been staying gone more and more. She told me she was working doubles. She even started giving me two dollars a week allowance to prove it. I still didn't believe her. I suspected she was spending her late nights with one doctor or another.

If I was alone, my mind would dwell on this suspicion until I was nearly certifiable. I kept Chris over, not just because it was a treat to see him, but because he kept me sane. Without him, I probably would have ended up crazier than a shit house rat.

We were about to break for lunch when Gordie knocked at the door. "I'll get it," Chris said.

I just nodded and kept up my work on Gordie's fine eyelashes. I had no idea who could be at the door, but I wasn't worried. The only threats Chris had were my mother and the Cobras. Mother would never knock on her own door and the Cobras would never waste time knocking on anyone's door.

I was fully concentrated on getting each eye's lashes perfect when Chris and Gordie barged into the room. Thankfully, I had the good sense to pull my hand away from the canvas before I turned quickly toward them. The last thing I needed was another brown paint streak to fix.

"What's wrong?" I asked, placing the brush on the easel tray.

Gordie's face was red and sweat was pouring down his forehead. He must have run all the way from the tree house. He was breathing too heavily to answer my question.

Chris answered for him. "It's Teddy! He's acting crazy. We gotta meet him at the tree house."

I wondered how Chris had gotten that much out of Gordie. The poor kid looked like he was doing good to breathe, much less speak.

I nodded. Teddy was always crazy, but if it was enough for Gordie to run two miles for help…we had no time to waste. I didn't even take the time to screw the cap onto my paint jar. If it dried out, so be it.

When we arrived at the vacant lot, I could hear Teddy shouting before I even started up the ladder of the tree house. "My old man stormed the beach at Normandy!" He yelled at Vern.

"Oh boy," I thought to myself as I climbed up. When Teddy got worked up about his father, it was nearly impossible to get him cooled down.

Vern was crouched in the corner when I climbed up into the tree house, Teddy was still screaming and tears were streaming down his face. "Teddy," I said, holding my hand out to him.

Teddy turned away from Vern. His face was shimmering red with tears. His eyes were blood shot and puffy. "My old man…" He whined.

"What's wrong, Teddy?" I asked, inching toward him, my hand still out in front of me. It was difficult to tell how Teddy would react to being touched at a time like this.

Before Teddy could reply to me, something hit me. It was Friday. Teddy should have been visiting his father up in Togus. "Teddy's old man kicked the bucket," I thought.

My grandmother would have said, "Good riddance to bad rubbish," and I would have agreed if I didn't know that Teddy had some odd kinship to his father despite the fact that he had hurt him so badly.

"Teddy," I began, moving slowly toward him. "Did something happen with your old man?"

"My old man," He whined again.

"Teddy, sit down and talk to me," I said softly. I finally touched him, gently on the shoulder.

He sat without a word and buried his face in his hands. I kept my hand on his shoulder. "Teddy," I spoke softly, praying that my next words would not throw him into another rage. Poor Vern was still crouched in the corner. "Teddy, remember, I know what it's like to lose an old man," I finally said.

Teddy was shuddering. Just the sight of his heaving shoulders almost made me want to cry. When he finally looked at me, tears filled my eyes. He looked so pathetic, red, puffy, and moist.

"She wouldn't let me go see him," he muttered finally, sniffling between every other word.

I gathered from that, that Teddy's mother hadn't taken him to see his father before he passed. I felt for him. The tears finally flooded down my cheeks. I hadn't seen my father just before he died either. I hadn't been able to say goodbye to him, because the accident at the mill had killed him instantly.

"I'll go myself," Teddy said. I had the feeling that I had been so caught up with my own thoughts, I had missed something.

"What?" I asked.

"If she won't take me, I'll go myself," Teddy barked. His tears had dried up now. Only the anger remained on his face.

"Teddy, you can't walk to Togus by yourself. It's too far." I hadn't even realized Chris was in the three house until he spoke.

I turned to him. His face was twisted in worry that only seemed magnified when he saw the tears in my eyes. I shook my head when he started walking toward me. Teddy was the task at hand and he needed to be dealt with. He was raving at Chris now. "I can do what I want! It's my old man!"

"Teddy, if your old man passed away, he's not there anymore," I said.

Teddy's eyes grew as wide as the hubcaps on my mother's car. For a second, I thought he was going to hit me. "My old man ain't dead!" He shouted. "Don't you say that!"

I stood up and moved back toward Chris. I couldn't sock Teddy when he was in this state. And I didn't want to be accepting any free ones from him. "I thought that's what you meant, Teddy," I said. "You're so upset. I just thought…" My voice trailed off when I ran into Chris.

"Well, my old man ain't dead!" Teddy shouted. "And I'm going to see him."

"Teddy, man, I'm sure your mom will take you next week," Chris said. He was clutching my arms and I felt safe even when Teddy took a step toward us with his fists clenched at his sides.

"She ain't. And I'm going," Teddy insisted. His eyes were turned to the floor of the tree house, but he suddenly looked up at us. His face was changed. Something almost, but not quite a smile, played on his lips. "You can come," He said. "This could be Gaily's big adventure!"

I shook my head. "No, Teddy. That's too far. We're not going. We can't. You guys almost died going to Harlow last summer. Come on, Teddy. Just forget about this. It's crazy!" I was afraid of angering Teddy, but I had to state my piece. His idea was just too crazy to fathom.

"Don't tell me I'm crazy!" He shouted. The half-smile had vanished from his face. The angry scowl was back. "I'm going, with or without you guys."

Regardless of the risk, I was ready to object again, but Chris spoke before I could. "Okay, Teddy, man, but at least wait 'til morning. Vern, can we tent out in your back field, leave tomorrow morning?"

Vern was still cowering in the corner, in no condition to speak. He nodded slowly.

I could not believe my ears. What was Chris thinking? Could he really be on board with Teddy's insane idea? When I started to protest, Chris squeezed my arms. I took that to mean, "Shut up. I know what I'm doing."

Teddy agreed to tent out and wait until morning. I suppose I should have felt better about the whole situation, but I couldn't, for the life of me, figure what Chris' plan was.

When He finally shared it with me that night in our tent, I felt even worse.


	12. Chapter 12

_I wanna be your last first kiss-Anberlin_

Chapter Twelve

After leaving the tree house, Gordie and Vern corralled Teddy at Vern's house and Chris and I headed back to our houses. While Chris was gathering his overnight things from his house, I left a short note for my mother.

_Tenting out with Vern-Abby_

She didn't need any more than that. Knowing Mother she wouldn't roll in until after midnight, if she came home at all. The doctors were pretty demanding at the hospital. Yeah right. If she didn't care about coming home, I wasn't going to care about leaving without permission.

I was stewing over the mom situation when Chris walked in the front door. "Are you okay?" He asked.

I looked up from the thumbnail I had been chewing down to the quick. "I'm fine," I lied, grabbing my overnight bag. "Let's get out of here, before Gordie and Vern lose Teddy."

Chris had a look on his face that plainly said, "I don't believe that you're okay," but his mouth said, "Yeah, let's go."

When we jogged into Vern's back field, Gordie and Vern were guarding Teddy like a prisoner of war. "At ease, Men," Chris said jokingly.

Gordie walked toward me when Chris "relieved him of his duty." "He's still a little crazy," He whispered.

"He's _always_ a little crazy," I said, giggling.

When it came time for bed, Vern's mother seemed a little apprehensive about allowing Chris and me to sleep together. She calmed down when I explained that sleeping arrangements would be as they always had been.

I wished I could have shared her enthusiasm about sleeping between Chris and Gordie. When I climbed into the tent and situated myself between my boyfriend and friend that "had feelings for me," I actually thought for a second that I'd rather be in the tent next door. Teddy and Vern were having a farting contest in the next tent. No, that really is how bad it was sleeping between Chris and Gordie.

I felt so awkward that I forced myself to create a barrier around my body, an inch of space between myself and each of the guys. I didn't move. I barely breathed. I did not want to risk touching them, even a nudge.

When Chris grabbed my arm, I nearly jumped right out of my skin. Gordie grunted in his sleep and turned on his side away from me. I hoped away from me. I couldn't see a thing, as usual.

"Abs," Chris whispered, like he wasn't sure it was my arm he was gripping.

"Yes, Chris?" I replied quietly.

"I know you're a little freaked out about Teddy," Chris whispered.

"I just don't understand why you told him we'd go with him, Chris. We _can't_ do that. Harlow was far enough. Just think about all the trouble you guys had last summer. We could die on the way to Togus. And all so Teddy can see his crazy father who nearly killed him!" Chris squeezed my wrist when my voice started to rise above a whisper. It was a struggle to stop speaking. I had so many thoughts on my mind. I was fuming.

"I know all of that," Chris said before I could start ranting again. "I don't plan on going, Abs. Do you think I'm crazy?"

I was starting to think maybe he was, but I didn't want to say that. "So, you lied to Teddy?" I finally asked.

"Of course!" He said as if lying to a friend was no big deal. He must have realized how he sounded, because he quickly added, "I know it sounds bad, but I had to do something before teddy just ran off to Togus with no supplies at all! It was either lie to him or punch him out!"

"Well, what are you going to do tomorrow when Teddy wakes us up at the crack of dawn, anxious to go?" I demanded. My face was burning like a fire place in January and my stomach was twisting and turning the way dough does when it's being kneaded.

Chris was silent for a few excruciating minutes. I was so worried that I thought I would scream, but then he finally spoke. "Aw, Teddy'll forget all about it by morning," he said matter-of-factly, sounding cool as a cucumber.

I never took Chris for a dumb person. In fact, I had been one to advocate his taking the college course with Gordie and me. Right then, however, I thought he belonged in the shop courses making ash trays and bird houses.

"Teddy—forget!" I exclaimed in a raspy whisper voice. "Who are you trying to kid, Chris, me or yourself? Teddy is not just going to forget all about his old man and your promise to skip off forty miles with him! What are you going to do, huh? Just keep on lying to him forever or punch his lights out?"

Chris was silent for a long while after that. My mind was going crazy. I felt like bugs were crawling all over me and under my skin. I squirmed so much I felt like I would wiggle right out of the tent if the door hole wasn't zipped shut.

Finally, when it seemed like the sun was sure to rise at any minute, Chris spoke. I had been so anxious to hear his voice that it had never occurred to me that his idea could be worse than the terrible silence of no ideas at all.

"We'll just go with him," He said, again in that cool-as-a-cucumber tone. He didn't even bother to whisper. It was like, he was so confident with this decision that Teddy could wake up right now, ready to go, and it wouldn't bother him.

I elbowed him in the side. "Ouch! What'd you do that for?" He demanded, his voice again a whisper.

"Are you crazy?"

He went quiet again. I jabbed him in the side. "Chris, talk to me. Are you crazy? We cannot walk forty miles, even if we do just follow the tracks. Your dad will kill you! My mom will kill me! Vern's mom will worry herself to death and…well, I don't even want to think about what Teddy's mom will do. If she is refusing to take Teddy to see his old man, well, maybe she has good reason!"

"I don't intend to go the whole way," Chris said. Again, he didn't bother to whisper.

I was so confused. I felt like my head could pop right off of my shoulders and I would still be able think just as clearly as I was now.

Chris explained further, thank goodness. "I figure once we get so far, Teddy will decide to turn back. And if he doesn't, I can always pretend not to know the way. Teddy's not exactly a genius, Abs. He probably don't even know that you can follow the tracks the whole way."

"Doesn't," I said absently.

"Who are you Ms. Watkins?" Chris asked. Ms. Watkins was our English teacher, a stickler for grammar.

"Sorry," I said. "I'm not sure this will all work out the way you want it to."

"You don't have to come," Chris snapped.

I felt like he slapped me right across the face. A tear popped up like a blood droplet when you stick yourself with a needle. I wiped it out of the corner of my eye before it could spill down my cheek.

Chris must have been able to sense my shock and sadness. He apologized and rubbed the hand he was still gripping tightly.

"I love you, Chris," I said. Once again, "I forgive you" just didn't seem like enough. "That's the reason I don't want to do this. I haven't felt good about the idea of having another big adventure this summer. I know you guys thought a lot of last summer's expedition was fun, but you could have died, Chris. If a bear had come down out of the woods while Vern was on watch, if there had been water moccasins instead of leaches in that pond, if Gordie hadn't gotten the gun in time…" I trailed off as more tears popped into my eyes. I let these roll down my cheeks.

Chris kissed my cheek. "Don't cry, Abs," He whispered. I would swear he had some psychic ability if I believed in that sort of thing.

"I just don't want anything to happen to you, Chris," I whispered.

"Nothing's going to happen, Abs," Chris whispered, rubbing my cheek. Somehow, he managed to find my lips in the dark and kissed me.

He kept rubbing my cheek after he stopped kissing me. "It's funny," I said. "Before you, I had never kissed any boy and now, we kiss all the time." I don't know why that struck me as funny. I may have been delirious. I giggled so loudly that I woke Gordie.

"Shut up, guys," he grunted. I giggled even harder. Gordie kicked me in the leg. "Shut up. It's late."

Chris kissed me again, so I would shut up. After only a few seconds, Gordie was snoring again. Chris stopped kissing me and rubbed my cheek again. "I want to be the last boy you ever kiss," he said.

"You can be the last boy I kiss if I can be the last girl you ever kiss," I said.

"Deal," Chris said.

"Swear?" I asked.

"Pinky swear," Chris said, feeling around for my pinky. He wrapped his around it when he finally found it. "Let's go to sleep now," he said, resting his head on my chest and wrapping his arm around me.

"Okay," I said. But I knew sleep was far away. I felt a kind of serene elation, because Chris had just professed his undying love for me, but I also felt a nagging horror. In the pit of my stomach, I knew something horrible was on the horizon. Something terrible was going to happen to Chris tomorrow. I didn't know what and I didn't know when…and that terrified me.

I held tight to him, wishing just that simple act would save him. When we're children, we all make foolish wishes, don't we?


	13. Chapter 13

_Run away, this time without you-All American Rejects_

Chapter Thirteen

We were awakened in the exact manner that I had assumed we would be: by Teddy, rudely, at the crack of dawn.

"Come on, guys. Let's get a move on! We've got a long way to go!" He shouted, after ripping open the door to our tent.

Sun light beamed into my eyeballs. I shielded my eyes with my arm. "Teddy, we cannot just leave right now!" I insisted.

"Yeah, Teddy, man…we don't even have supplies together. Last time, we left without any food and next to no money. Do you really want to do that this time?" Gordie asked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes.

Chris' head was still resting on my chest. He pulled the blanket over us and groaned.

I moved the blanket away from my face, careful not to remove it from Chris'. He was never a morning person. "Teddy, we have to go home, get bed rolls, food…We need supplies for a trip like this. It's way too far to set off unprepared."

"Fine, go, but hurry up! Come on!" Teddy was shouting and jumping up and down.

I could have smacked Chris for orchestrating this dumb plan, but instead I just nudged him. "Come on, Chris. We've got to get up before Teddy runs off without us."

"Why'd you tell him we'd go?" Gordie asked, shoving his blanket down and grabbing his shoes. I hadn't realized the night before that Gordie slept in his clothes, even his jeans. Usually he slept in nothing, but his drawers, sometimes a t-shirt.

Chris groaned loudly and sat up. "I don't intend on going the whole way. Once we get so far, Vern will start whining and we'll come back. You know that, Gordie. We almost had to turn back the last time, because…" Chris trailed off. There was something about last time, something that had to do with Gordie, that Chris would never tell me. It bugged me until years later when Gordie finally told me. I understood why he wouldn't want to tell a twelve-year-old girl that he had a leach on his balls and passed out. It's just something twelve or even thirteen-year-old girls don't need to know.

When we emerged from the tent, Vern was deconstructing his tent and Teddy was nowhere to be found. "Vern, where the hell is Teddy?" I demanded.

"He went home to get his bed roll and some other stuff. He said he'd go by the tree house and get the radio too. Hey, Abby, you want me to bring a comb for you?" Vern asked. "I've got one," He added with a proud smile.

I shook my head. "No thanks, Vern," I said. "Come on, Chris. I'm heading out. Teddy's already headed home, so we don't have time to waste."

We didn't have time to waste, but I was still forced to waste it. When I got home, my mother was in a rage. "Where the hell have you been?" She shouted when I walked through the front door.

"I left a note," I said, ignoring her and starting down the hall toward my bedroom.

"Stop right there, Young Lady!" She shouted. I kept going. Judging by the outfit she was wearing (the same outfit she had left in yesterday and not a nurse's uniform, I might add), she had just gotten in which is why she had not yet had a chance to read my note.

I started gathering up a bed roll and a change of clothes. We could be gone up to two nights if this thing didn't go as Chris had planned. "What did I say to you?" My mother asked, throwing my door open and barging into the room.

"Mother, how long have you been here?" I asked. "Huh? How many minutes have you been here? How can you ask me where the hell I've been? I should be the one wondering where you've been. This is a record for you, staying out until daylight with your doctor friends! At least I wasn't out sleeping around!" I know, I know…what thirteen-year-old speaks to her mother that way, but come on…give me a break. My father hadn't been dead a full year and she was staying out until morning doing God knows what with other men. I think I had a right.

Mother didn't share my point of view, of course. She slapped me so hard across the face that I fell to the floor. My lip was bloody. I knew, because I could taste that metallic tinge that blood has to it. I got up without much effort. She could slap me around all she wanted. I was on a mission and I would not be easily dissuaded.

"I'm leaving," I told her. "I don't know when I'll be back, but I'm sure you won't even notice." She slapped me again. Now, it was starting to bug me. I had things to do. Couldn't she see that? I didn't have time to keep picking myself up off the ground. Not to mention, all those slaps were going to smart.

"Don't talk to me that way, Abigail Lynn Hogan! I am your mother, do you hear me?"

I had gone back to packing up my things, camera included (not because I wanted to take pictures, but because I thought she might break it or Charlie would steal it). I was packing, but she was right there, shouting. Of course I could hear her. What she should have said was, "Are you listening to me?"

"I hear you, Mother," I finally said once my bedroll was tied up. "I'm just not listening. I have things to do, if you haven't caught on to that."

She started to slap me again, but I caught her hand with my left. Before Chris and I parted ways out front, I hugged him, but not because I wanted to. I slipped his blade out of his back pocket. I thought there might be a confrontation. For all I knew, Charlie could have been home. I held it in front of my mother's face now. She sucked in shallow, frightened breaths. You would have thought I was slitting her throat. "I wouldn't slap me again, if I were you," I said. "But then, I wouldn't do a lot of the things you do." I didn't have to add that, but it was just sitting there on the tip of my tongue, begging to be shared.

Mother tugged away from me and scuttled out of the room. Good riddance to bad rubbish, Granny would say. And I would agree. I wiped blood away from my lip when I heard Chris pecking at the window. I tucked my roll under my arm, hung the camera strap over my shoulder, and climbed out the window.

"What happened?" Chris asked, pointing at my red cheek. It was stinging like a hornet got me, but I tried to ignore it.

"Mother," I replied simply. "Let's get going."

"Let's go by Teddy's and walk back to Vern's with him," Chris said, kissing the cheek that wasn't burning.

"Thanks," I whispered, grabbing his face and kissing him properly. "I love you."

"I love you more," he said, kissing my lips again.

We ran nearly the whole way to Teddy's house. When we got there, Chris knocked at the door. I stood off to the side. I didn't want to explain things to Mrs. Duchamp or have her making her own assumptions about my cheek. My lip had taken to bleeding again too. I held a hanky Chris gave me to it and prayed for it to stop.

"Well, Hi Christopher." Mrs. Duchamp greeted Chris with a smile. "You just missed Teddy."

"Oh, is he on his way back to Vern's?" Chris asked.

Mrs. Duchamp's forehead wrinkled with confusion. "No, I just dropped him off over in Castle Green. He said he was meeting Vern and his momma over there."

Chris looked madder than a wasp when you swat at it. I grabbed him by the arm and smiled at Teddy's mom. "Yeah, that's right. We're supposed to meet them over there first. Thanks Mrs. D!"

"Well, okay. Y'all want a ride?" Teddy's mom started out onto the front porch. I had already dragged Chris into the yard.

"No, thank you. We've gotta pick up Gordie yet," I called. "Thank you, Ma'am!"

"Damn it. Damn Teddy. What the hell is he thinking?" Chris had been shouting and cursing since we got to the end of Meadow Lark Drive, the street Teddy's house sat on. I wished he would put some of that energy into walking. He was going about as slow as one could move.

"Come on, Chris. We've got to hurry up to Vern's. Teddy's going to be way outside of Castle Green by the time we get there!"

"He did what?" Gordie shouted when I apprised him of the situation.

"You heard me," I said. "I don't know what he's thinking, but I do know that we have to go and we have to hurry! Come on!"

"Wait! What's the plan here? We're just going to find Teddy and run off to Togus without a plan. I told my mom I was tenting out with Vern again, but what is Vern supposed to say?"

"Forget it. The plan is: we find Teddy, punch him out, and call his mom to come get us in Castle Green," Chris said. He didn't give Gordie or anyone else the chance to object. He just took off out of the yard.

We dropped our bed rolls and took off after him. Running most of the way got to us to Castle Green in just over twenty minutes. It took just over eight by car, so I think we made good time. We looked around town, in a couple of shops, for Teddy.

"He's not here," I finally said when the guys came out of the ice cream parlor. "He had his mom drop him here, but he kept on walking. Let's go!"

We ran down the main road which led out to the highway. Chris had been right about Teddy not knowing the way. He could have easily followed the train tracks the way they did to Harlow, but instead he was risking his life on the highway. I ran as fast as I could, fearing we would find the body of Teddy instead of the living thing.

Teddy probably wished he was dead when we caught up to him three miles down the highway. He was just ambling along with nothing, but a canteen over his shoulder. He had really gone crazy this time.

Chris grabbed him from behind and screamed swears I had never even heard before right in his face. Teddy started to scream back at him, but Chris punched him square in the nose. I wanted to stop him, but I thought possibly He would be too caught up in the moment and punch me out too. I had taken enough swats to the face for one day. Besides, Teddy kind of deserved it.

"Vern, run back to town and call Teddy's mom!" I shouted, shoving Vern back the way we came.

Vern groaned and held his jiggling stomach. His face was read and covered with dirty sweat. "Gordie, can you…?"

Before I could even finish, Gordie nodded and took off, back to Castle Green. "We're three miles down the highway, Gordie! Tell her that!" I shouted after him.

Chris was still swearing and throwing punches, but Teddy was getting in a few licks too. I wanted more than anything to do something, but I had no idea what to do. I could barely move. I just stood there, frozen like the night Ace got me in my room. I gaped in horror, but could do nothing constructive.

The fight moved into the highway, into the lane for traffic heading out of Castle Green. I shouted for them to stop. It was all I could do. They might as well as been two deaf men I was shouting at. They just kept punching and kicking and screaming at each other.

I forced my foot to move. It was on the white barrier line at the edge of the highway. I felt ecstatic. I had broken through my fear and shock. I was going to grab them, get them out of the road, and make them stop. But then I heard a noise behind me that made me stop and turn back.

Vern was puking in the bushes. On instinct, some wild, stupid, crazy instinct, I ran to him instead of Chris and Teddy. "Are you okay?" I asked. He shook his head and went right on puking on the wild violets and onion grass. I rubbed his back. "You'll be okay," I told him. "You just overexerted yourself. You'll be…"

The sound of a horn blasting cut my words short. I turned in time to see Teddy shove Chris. Chris lost his balance and flew in front of an oncoming car.

I screamed like I was the one being hit by the sedan. I fell to the ground when Chris flew a few feet and smashed onto the pavement. I felt like I was dying. My heart pounded against my ribs, begging to get out as if it could somehow help Chris.

Tears filled my eyes. I couldn't stop screaming. Through the tears, I could see a crimson tear running down Chris' face. His head was bleeding. His eyes were closed. He wasn't moving.

I kept screaming, but I couldn't move. My entire body ached as if it was me lying on the pavement in front of the car.

The car. I tore my eyes away from Chris and looked at the car. A woman was scrambling out of the driver's side with her hands on her mouth. I think she was screaming or shouting, but I couldn't hear her over my own screaming. I couldn't stop screaming. I lost my voice for two weeks after that.

Teddy was on his knees in the road where he pushed Chris. He forced himself up onto wobbly legs and staggered toward me. Vern was at my side. I could feel him rubbing my back. He was saying something, but I couldn't hear him. I was still screaming.

I screamed until Teddy reached me. I screamed until he slapped my face. When he slapped my cheek, the same one mother had abused earlier, something snapped in me. I stopped screaming and then suddenly everything around me was so loud. The sound was amplified. Vern talking in my left ear. Teddy shouting in my right. The woman, the driver of the car, screaming.

I focused in on her screaming. She was kneeling next to Chris screaming, "Oh my God! Oh my God! He's dead! I killed him! He's dead."

That's when everything went dark. I thought I was dead. And when I awakened hours later, in the hospital, I wished I was dead. When I awakened to the bright light shining down on me, to the smell of alcohol, I didn't remember how I'd gotten there. I didn't remember leaving the road side. I remembered only one horrible thing.

Chris was dead.


	14. Chapter 14

**a/n: I am SOO sorry that it has been so long since I added a new chapter. I've been going through a lot of stuff, health issues and family tragedies. Anyway, here's a new chapter! So, yay! Hope everyone enjoys. It won't be such a long time before the next chapter is added! Thanks to everyone who has been reading!**

Chapter Fourteen

My mother was standing next to the bed. The second my eyes opened, she swooped in above me. "Abigail, honey! Are you okay? They told me you just passed out, but I didn't expect you to be out this long! How do you feel, Darling?" Mother was screaming, but I could barely hear her.

My mind was still on Chris. I kept seeing him in my mind, lying crumpled on the pavement, blood running down his face. I felt like screaming again, but I just cried. Tears were gushing in torrents from the corners of my eyes.

"Abigail! You're crying! Honey, are you in pain?" My mother shrieked.

I was in agonizing pain, but it was a pain she would not understand. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed. My mother kept shrieking, but I blocked her out. Chris was dead and I had to live. I wished I would have died out there. My life was over now anyway. How could I live without Chris?

"Abby!" Suddenly Gordie's voice burst into my mind.

I uncovered my face and looked around for him. My eyes were blurry and tears were still running from them. Gordie was on my right side, opposite my mother. I sat up and turned to him. "Gordie," I whined, reaching for him.

He grabbed me and hugged me tight. "Are you okay, Abby? Are you hurt?"

I shook my head. My tears were pouring onto his t-shirt. "Chris," I finally croaked. I could tell my voice was going to be lost in a few days.

"Yeah. He's a mess," Gordie said.

I made an unnatural guttural noise. I thought for a second I might puke, but the nausea finally passed. "He's…" I couldn't bring myself to say "dead." Thinking it was bad enough, but actually saying it would somehow make it worse. It would make it more real. More final.

"He's awake now," Gordie said.

I pulled away from him with a quickness that could almost cause whiplash. "What?" I demanded.

"He's awake. They thought he was in a coma, but he's awake now. He's just banged up a little and he…"

Gordie went on and on, rattling off everything that had happened to Chris. He listed a concussion and several broken bones, but I couldn't concentrate. My brain was buzzing. I couldn't believe it…Chris was alive. The driver of the car, the lady, she thought he was dead, but he wasn't.

"I want to see him," I croaked as loudly as possible, pulling away from Gordie who had been clutching my upper arms.

Gordie's face was twisted with confusion. His mouth hung ajar as if he had been in mid-sentence when I shouted. I felt bad for interrupting him, but I couldn't help it. I had to see Chris. I darted for the door, but my mother grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"You can't just run out here, Abigail. The doctor is coming back to see you!" She said, holding tight to my arm.

"Mother, I have to see Chris. There's nothing wrong with me. Let me go," I snapped, struggling to break free from her grip. My voice was breaking every other word. I hoped she could understand me.

She held tight and objected. "Abigail, you passed out. The doctor has to see you."

"No!" I shrieked. My voice was clear as a bell now. It's funny how you can force yourself to overcome an obstacle like losing your voice when you really need to. "I fainted, because I thought the boy I love was DEAD! Let go of me! You can't stop me from seeing him, Mother! I love him!" I glanced at Gordie out of the corner of my eye as I wiggled to get away from Mother. His jaw was on the floor.

"Nonsense!" Mother retorted, holding my arm so tight her knuckles were white. "You don't love him! No one can love a Chambers!"

At that moment, I lost my mind, I think. Everything went red. I was so mad I couldn't see straight. I wasn't thinking that it was my mother. I just socked her right in the face. She screamed and let go of my arm. The hand that had been holding onto me was over her face.

I turned away from her to Gordie. "Where is Chris?" I demanded.

Gordie stuttered and danced around like he had to go to the bathroom. Now that I think about it, punching your mother in the face is probably the worst thing you can do. And it was probably the craziest thing that Gordie had ever seen someone do, but surely he, who pulled a gun on Ace Merrill, would know…you gotta do what you gotta do.

"Come on, Gordie!" I shouted.

He finally stopped dancing around, but his mouth was still out of commission. He ran over, grabbed me by the hand, and tugged me out of the small hospital room I had been in. We ran forever down a long corridor into the ICU. I started crying when I read that. ICU was short for "Oh shit, it's bad!"

Gordie and I slowed down when we spotted Vern's mother, Vern, and Teddy sitting outside a room. I knew that had to be Chris' room. I prayed that his mother was working and his father hadn't bothered to come. In the ICU, only one person was allowed in with a patient. Most of the time, the hospital would only allow family, but I knew Mrs. Tessio would break the rules for me. I mean, surely she would…right?

Mrs. Tessio hopped up as soon as she saw us. "Abby, it's good to see you up and about. Your momma was so worried!"

"I just want to see Chris," I croaked. My throat hurt like the time I had tonsillitis.

"His momma's in there right now, Honey. Only one person can go in at a time," Mrs. Tessio said.

Tears started pouring down my face. She wasn't going to break the rules for me after all. I collapsed to the floor, sitting with my legs crossed. I punched my mom out for nothing. I still couldn't see him.

No one said anything or even moved for at least a full minute. Then, I felt someone's hand on my back. It was too big to be Gordie's. I jumped, fearing that it was my mother, come to give me the swatting of a lifetime. When I looked up, it was Mrs. Chambers. I started crying a whole new batch of tears.

Mrs. Chambers looked like she had been crying too. Her eyes were red and a little puffy. "My boy is asking for you, Abby," she whispered. Mrs. Chambers was a tiny woman and very meek. I suspected that's why she never did anything when her husband took to belting on Chris.

I was overjoyed, but I couldn't speak. I just smiled, nodded and rushed into Chris' room.

When my gaze landed on Chris, I stopped immediately. He looked horrible. His entire head was bandaged, down to his brow line. The entire right side of his face was bruised and scraped. He must have slid on the pavement before he came to a stop. His right arm was in a cast and a sling. From his pecks to his lower stomach was fully bandaged. I assumed to support broken ribs.

I wondered if his lower body looked like his upper. I couldn't see for the blanket that was covering him.

"Come here," He said when I started to cry again.

I walked slowly toward him, hanging my head the whole way. When I reached him, I sobbed and croaked out an apology.

Chris reached for me with his left hand and pulled my face to his. I thought he was going to kiss me, but he just stared into my eyes and whispered, "I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered.

"What's wrong with your voice?" He asked, still staring into my eyes.

I started to cry again, gushing tears like tidal waves. "I…thought you were dead, Chris," I whispered. "When I saw the car hit you, I just screamed and screamed."

Chris pulled me closer and kissed me before I could say anything else. That was fine by me. I would rather kiss him than recant the details of his accident any day! Of course, I find that I'd rather kiss Chris than do a lot of things.

When we finally stopped kissing, I pulled away and stared at him again. "Are you okay?" I asked.

"Shoot, I'm fine," He said, smiling. "As long as you still love me with my face all messed up!"

I narrowed my eyes at him and whispered, "If you weren't hurt, I'd slap you for even insinuatin' that I'd quit lovin' you over something like a scraped up face!"

Chris laughed and kissed me again for a long time. I felt like I was in heaven until I heard a throat being cleared behind me.

I turned quickly and saw Dr. Franks standing in the doorway. He smiled and started to walk over. "Hello Abigail," He said. "I'm taking care of your friend here."

"It's Abby and he's my boyfriend," I croaked. I cursed my voice for not sounding more authoritative. What good is trying to command your point if you sound like a bullfrog?

Mr. Franks just smiled again. "I see," he said. "How's your throat feel, Abby? Your other friend said he had to slap you to stop your screaming earlier. You're probably going to be hoarse for awhile."

"I'll be fine. Is Chris going to be okay?"

Dr. Franks just kept smiling like a dimwit. "He'll be all right. He's a lucky kid."

Chris chuckled. "I don't feel lucky," He muttered.

I turned back to him and grabbed his left hand to hold. He smiled up at me. No one could ever forget a smile like his. I would remember his smile until the day I died.

"I was just talking to your mother, Chris," Dr. Franks said, walking toward the bed. "I think you're ready to go home if you promise to take it easy."

"You're just going to let him go!" I whispered as loudly as I could. Whispering sounded better than croaking. "He just got here!"

Dr. Franks' brow furrowed. "He's been here for eight hours," he said. "You've been asleep."

I couldn't believe I had slept for eight hours. It felt like only minutes. An hour at the most. It must be past dinner time. No wonder my mother had been so worried. Suddenly, I felt horrible for punching her.

"Chris, I have to go," I whispered, bending down to kiss his cheek. "I'll be right back."

I sped out of the room, leaving Chris and Dr. Franks talking to each other. I raced down the corridor, out of ICU, and back to my room.

Mother was rocking back and forth in an arm chair and sniffling when I dashed in. I skidded to a stop and she looked up. Her eyes were blood shot and tears were trickling down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Mother," I whispered. "I just had to see Chris. You don't understand how much I love him."

"I do," Mother mumbled.

"What?" I asked.

"I understand how much you love him, Abby. I just don't want you to get hurt. Come, sit, I have to tell you something." Mother patted the chair next to her. I obeyed her; though I was a little afraid she would belt me when I got close. I deserved it for punching her. Her nose was still a little red. I packed a pretty good punch.

"Abby, there's something I hoped I'd never have to tell you," Mother began, staring at her legs.

Suddenly, I was scared. Scared, but intrigued. I was dying to know what she had to say. "What is it, Mother?" I asked.

"A long time ago…" She paused to clear her throat and wipe her eyes. "I loved a Chambers too."

I could not believe my ears! Mother could only be speaking of one Chambers…Chris' dad! How could she love Chris' horrible, wicked father? "How?" I asked.

"Chris' dad was much different than he is now. I knew him a long time ago, Abby…before alcohol made him the kind of man who beats his children. And I loved him the way you love Chris. I would have died if he had been hurt like Chris."

"What about Daddy?" I asked.

"This was before I met your father, Abby," she said, turning toward me, her eyes locking with mine. "I never went outside my marriage to your father. I love him very much, but when I was in ninth and tenth grade, I was in love with Chris' dad. Until, I caught him cheating on me."

My mouth dropped open. Mother nodded. "He kissed my best friend at my sixteenth birthday party. Someone snuck in beer. Alcohol started to poison him at an early age."

Mother stopped speaking and stared off behind me, like she was reliving that night so many years ago at her party. I imagined she could still picture Chris' dad and her friend together. I patted her arm that was lying on the arm rest of her chair.

Mother shook her head like she was trying to wake up and focused on me once again. "I don't want you to go through that, Abby."

"I won't, Mother," I whispered.

Mother shook her head "no." "They're all the same, Abby. The Chambers men are all bad. Chris will start drinking soon and become just as evil as his father."

I jumped up from my chair. My fist was raised in the air. It was all I could do to restrain myself from punching her again. She cowered and covered her face. I lowered my fist. "Mother," I whispered as loudly as possible. "Chris will never be like his father! You'll see. He'll be different and we'll be together forever!"


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Hey guys...I want to apologize for taking so long to get this last chapter up. A lot of stuff has been going on in my personal life and I just haven't had time to get it on. This is the end of the story and I truly hope you all enjoy it as much as you seem to have enjoyed the rest of the story. Thanks for all of you great reviews, adding me as your favorite author, and adding the story as your favorite! Please let me know what you think of the ending! Thank you again...and please enjoy!**

_In a way, I need a change from this burnout scene, another time, another town, another everything, but it's always back to you_

_-OAR_

Chapter Fifteen

After Chris' accident, it took him a while to forgive Teddy for pushing him in front of the car. But eventually, he did and everything went back normal. He healed quickly and we all started eighth grade together that fall.

School sucked like it always did, but we got through it as a group, like we always did. Despite different schedules, we all stayed friends through high school. What kind of story would this be if we just broke up? I mean, wouldn't you, the reader, be totally upset by that? I thought so. Glad I could give you a good news ending!

Three months after Chris' accident, Ace and Eyeball were caught boosting a car and got sent up for five years. Without those two, the Cobras sort of fell apart. Billy and Charlie weren't exactly known for their leadership abilities or brains, for that matter. That sentencing was like the best birthday present I had ever received, courtesy of the state of Maine.

After high school ended in '66, we had another awesome summer, but we decided the craziest thing we should do post-high school was road trip to New York City and back. Nobody stumbled upon any dead bodies, got run over by a car, and best of all, nobody got attacked by Cobras.

It might have been our last summer of crazy trips together, but we all kept up over the years. Vern was the only one to stay in Castle Rock after high school. He married Martha Walker. Yeah, turns out she was more Vern's type than Gordie's. The two of them ended up having ten beautiful children and over forty grand children!

Teddy fled from Castle Rock in hopes of joining the army. However, his eyes and ears kept him out. After doing a stint in rehab for alcoholism, he returned to Castle Rock. He never married, but thanks to medication for his manic depression, he was able to open an ice cream shop in town. He was loved by all the children in town. Crazy, huh?

Gordie's story isn't so crazy. He ended up doing what everyone knew he would. He became a famous writer. He always could tell a good story. He now lives in our great state's capital with his wife (an author of children's books). Together, they had three children and five grandchildren. Gordie even wrote a story about the Ray Brower summer. I sure wish I could have been in it! It was made into a motion picture in the eighties. Gordie is doing swell. We still get together with him and the other guys in Castle Rock every summer. No more adventures for us, but we love a good cookout!

Oh and by "we," of course I mean, Chris and me! Things turned out just like I predicted, but I guess you probably had a hunch they would, huh?

After the graduation road trip, Chris and I were married at Granny's church. Since Chris had always wanted to leave Castle Rock, we waved goodbye, packed up the car, and moved to New York City. Chris started law school and I started showing my paintings around to several art dealers and museums.

Just two months after moving to the city that never sleeps, my entire "Summer of '61" collection got picked up by the most prestigious art museum in the city. New Yorkers really dug paintings of boys and girls in rural settings. Must have given them a glimpse of a childhood they never had in the big city or perhaps one they had before they relocated. When Abby Chambers became the biggest name in the New York City art community, I thought I could never be happier.

"Never say never!" That's what people always tell you, isn't it? Well, I'm glad everyone forgot to send me the memo. Life just had to go and prove me wrong. A month after the museum made Chris and I what our accountant called, "set for life," a doctor made us what I call, "the happiest couple in the world." We welcomed our first little boy, Jude Christopher Chambers, just nine months after being wed. Give me a break…we had been waiting since eighth grade! We're lucky we made it into the honeymoon suite!

Soon, I settled into a life of motherhood, selling a painting here and there to help put Chris through law school and save up for our children's futures. The summer after Chris passed the Bar and became a big time lawyer, we welcomed our fourth child, Grace Lynn Chambers, our only little girl, and the apple of her father's eye.

Gracie sure was a daddy's girl, but only her Mama could tell her favorite bed time story. Every night before bed, she loved to hear the story of how her father and I met and fell in love when we were only thirteen. She prayed she'd find her true love at thirteen just like we did. When that birthday came and went with no Prince Charming at the door, she was a little disappointed.

I like to tease her about that now and again when she brings over my five beautiful grandbabies. She had to wait an extra five years, but her prince eventually came knocking. And Chris and I couldn't have been more proud of her or her six brothers.

Now that we're seventy-five, the trips back to Castle Rock have stopped. For us, that is, we moved back. The town has long-since forgotten the disgrace of the Chambers name. And we're not cut out for city life anymore.

"Mother!" Chris calls as I type those last few words.

"I'm in here, Dear!" I call back, scooting myself away from the desk.

"You've not finished that yet. The children are going to be here in five minutes," Chris fits, struggling with his tie.

I smile warmly at him. "Chris, you never were any good with a tie. Why do you think I bought you all those clip-ons for your days in court?" I walk toward him and straighten the tie for him.

"I just thought I oughtta look nice on our anniversary," He says. "I'm sorry."

I stare into his eyes that are still that beautiful blue-green, just a touch lighter now. "I love you, Chris."

"I love you, Abs," Chris says.

And I could swear we were thirteen again, standing outside my bedroom window, saying it for the first time.


End file.
